So this past weekend was Halloween - No I did not dress up as a Sexy French Maid...the costume store was out of it for men over six feet - and I took a MEvBLOG road trip to New Orleans to celebrate Cajun style with friends.
SIDENOTE: "Cajun style" of course means "deep fried," one of two ways all our food was prepared. The other way was via a plastic, sippy cup you can legally carry wherever you go which, upon realization, promptly causes the realizer to do his/her version of the Dance of Joy.
I'd never been to the Crescent City before - the given name some say is because of the city's shape, though I believe it's totally a caloric reference - and I have to say I fell in love with it. You can see from this photo that the weather was non-swampy, so that was a major factor, but still...the people were friendly, the food amazing, and its personality one-of-a-kind. My favorite part was walking around with my Chicory-roasted coffee, browsing the art galleries and quirky French Quarter shops.
A few people told me NOLA still hasn't bounced back from Hurricane Katrina, which might be true. We didn't venture into the Ninth Ward, or that far out of the downtown/French Quarter/Garden District area much. However, having covered a hurricane before, I know that bouncing back from it takes a long time and, from what I could tell, the city looks like a million bucks...a blackened, battered million bucks served with a side of heavy cream and washed down with a 24 oz. Hurricane from Pat O'Briens.
One of my friends lost his phone on Halloween night on Bourbon Street and later found out his girlfriend got a call from the nice woman who found it. She asked if she could mail it back to her so he wouldn't have to buy a new one. Talk about Southern hospitality!
I'm not saying New Orleans is Shangri La - there is the fact that it's constantly featured on either COPS or America's Most Wanted - but I am saying that you definitely should go visit. Be a smart traveler when you're out and about, but travel there all the same. And good luck if you're a Vegan.
Laissez les bon temps roulez...Cajun style!
Monday, November 2, 2009
When the Saints go marching in...for Halloween
Sunday, October 18, 2009
An open letter to Martha Stewart
Dear Martha Stewart,
This is wrong. Very, very, very wrong.
Granted, I am biased as I have very strong feelings against personifying something which I'm about to chew. (Remember when Domino's ran that commercial with those weird-ass brownies that show up at your door inviting you to eat a pan of weird-ass brownies? Gross.)
However, this is way worse than that because it's not "personifying" food as much as it's "foodifying" a person. A very little, confused, and scared looking person, who looks like it's about to be consumed with a side of Nana's candied yams and a slice of bourbon pecan pie for dessert.
Therefore, I revoke your privileges of advice-giving on Halloween costumes. Yes, I have that power. No you can't appeal this or throw money at me...unless it's a lot of money. I might bend for a certain number. Or for your house in the Hamptons.
Anyway, let's never ever think of this again - and lock it away with those other creepy babies-in-food-and-flowers-pictures-from-the-nineties-that-were-popular-for-reasons-no-one-can-explain.
Now, If you would kindly agree to make me my very own bourbon pecan pie, and get me on the list for a party on P. Diddy's yacht, all will be forgiven.
Sincerely,
MEvBLOG
Friday, October 9, 2009
T-G-I-Seriously???
Let me just say that my Friday has already gotten very weird.
First of all, there's the waking up in a non-drunken-hung-over-daze-of-frustration at the Crap that was the Boston Red Sox last night. (Jon Lester...you pitched the Sox to a World Series victory in '07, you pitched a no-hitter in Kansas City in '08, and before all of that you kicked cancer's ass. Sure, you're only 25 years old, but you're awesome so I'm setting the bar high. Therefore, THROW STRIKES. IT'S YOUR JOB...Damn, son.)
Then, there was the news that President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. And, though I voted for and still support him, I was somewhat surprised to learn that it didn't go to Bono, despite the most recent U2 album which wasn't really so bad as much as it was forgettable. As in I remember liking it when I bought it for $4.99 at Amazon, but am always newly surprised when I see it on my iPod.
But then - and this REALLY threw me for a loop - "Couples Retreat" rated just 11% at Rotten Tomatoes!! It looks hysterical in the previews, but apparently it's not - sort of like the American version of "The Office" - and now I feel disillusionment in addition to disappointment and confusion.
What I really need to do is get Jon Lester, President Obama and Vince Vaughn in a room together to explain things to me. And if that room happened to have hot chicks in orange short-shorts serving us beer and chicken wings, well...then Friday would turn into a win-win for everyone.
Friday, October 2, 2009
The Olympics and Oprah
I mean, let's be honest...did America really think it had a chance at getting the 2016 Olympics? Sure, Chicago is a great city and huge sports town, but let's look at what some of the other finalists had going for them:
Tokyo - The Japanese cultural rivalry with China would have been in full effect via the Opening Ceremonies. The government would have probably commissioned Sony Labs to create a fire breathing Godzilla that would have lit the Olympic torch.
Madrid - Sure Barcelona already represented the country back in '92, but Spain's capital would've made a the perfect locale for a world-wide festival. And we'd all have paid good money to see wee, little Bob Costas dressed as a matador, right?
Rio de Janero - First host city in South America + the world's most beautiful people who hardly ever wear clothes = global unification at its best.
So yes, Chicago is a historic melting pot that could easily host a gazillion athletes and toursists, but without Godzilla, bull fighting, and luscious booty-shaking, you can see how it easily got usurped.
However, the real loser in all this is really Oprah Winfrey. It must totally suck to be her right now. No, think about it...one day you're worth $2.7 billion and the next you lose $400 million and are worth ONLY $2.3 billion. One month the entire city of Chicago forgoes any/all sense of shame to perform a choreographed dance in your honor, and the next people are blaming you for distracting the President from the war in Afghanistan. (Honestly Oprah...Obama's not Gail.)
It's OK Oprah...I'm sure you can find someone who will hug you for an easy $50K. (I'd do it for half.) If only you'd invested in your own fire-breathing Godzilla instead of starting that school for girls in South Africa...So. Selfish.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Polanski: Genius and Criminal
I just want to go on the record as saying I think Roman Polanski is one of the greatest filmmakers who ever lived and he totally belongs in jail. Yes, it's possible to hold the two thoughts in your head at one time. Like, say, acknowledging the merit in both Republican and Democratic notions, or recognizing the value in both Shakespeare's sonnets and "Greek" on ABC Family.
"Chinatown" is one of the greatest movies ever made and its director drugged and raped a seventh grader. The two are allowed to co-exist.
I recently heard someone ask why Polanski should have to answer for his crime when Ted Kennedy bounced back from Chappaquiddick. Instead of slapping that person across the face with an open palm like I wanted, I simply pointed out that Kennedy, while being wrong for what he did, stuck around and answered for it. No one doubts his last name played a role in keeping the book from being thrown at him but still...the man didn't high-tail it to France for 32 years.
Polanski, after having been convicted, split for Europe where he's evaded jail time longer than I've been alive. If he'd stayed, he probably would have served his sentence and been out in no time flat because, let's be honest, he was convicted in Los Angeles where even when you stabbed your wife and another guy you can get out of it.
So yes, the man is both a genius and a criminal. Believing both to be true is allowed. Just like it's OK to think Martin Scorsese is both awesome and kind of a tool for signing a petition demanding that Polanski be freed. Marty...seriously? Unless you only want him free so you can unleash Joe Pesci on him with a baseball bat. In that case, I might be with you.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Over-Inflated Optimism?
Let me set the stage. Today there was a very loud drilling noise in my office building to the point that the walls were shaking a bit.
Co-worker: What is that noise?
Me: I dunno.
Co-worker: Do you think we're okay?
Me: Oh we're fine. I'm not worried.
Co-worker: What would it feel like if the building were about to collapse?
Me: (From my vast expertise on the subject) I'm sure things would be falling over.
Co-worker: Do you think we would die if the building collapsed, I mean we're on the 11th floor. . .
Me: The 11th floor means we'd be close to the top of the rubble. They'd totally find us first.
Gotta love the silver lining!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The book club quest continues
So, you all know about my trials and tribulations of having been invited to, and then dismissed from, the Book Club of Ladyparts because I had none. As it turns out I have a couple other friends who were also search for a book club so we formed our own called The Super Awesome Book Club of Awesome. (I came up with the name.) We're like the literary equivalent of Island of Misfit Toys.
SIDENOTE: If you have any recommendations, feel free to hit up the comments. We're open to anything as long as it doesn't involve teenage/vampire/romance triangles, or authors with the first name "Jodi" and last name "Picoult."
Our first book was "Middlesex," which I'd read before and was happy to re-read because it's amazing and you should all read it. The second book, an older title called "The Far Pavilions," is what we've set our sights on next, except that we can't actually set our sights on it because it's not available. Anywhere. It's out of print.
Hence my quest this morning ended with the Helpful Hippie at Barnes & Noble who peered through her stringy gray hair and over her bedazzled reading glasses, informing me I was out of luck if I wanted to buy this book, but was I interested in their ENTIRE TABLE of teenage/vampire/romance triangles?
After audibly sighing and judging her I browsed through the store totally unencumbered by purpose. It was then I came to the following conclusions:
1) If you work there and your "staff pick" is "People Magazine's Book of Crossword Puzzles" you should be fired.
2) Seeing both Joel Osteen's book and Glenn Beck's right next to each other might make you throw up in the back of your mouth a little.
3) The guy who took the DVD out of the Kaplan test-prep book and split just shoplifted. Someone needs to collar him and say, "Dear Rufus, You belong in jail."
4) Somewhere, some group of dedicated consumers are buying lots of puzzles.
5) At this point, I think teenage/vampire/romance triangles might be outselling The Bible.
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