Rail Rant

I totally support public transportation and wish that there was a subway or light rail of some sort here in The Mont. Sadly there isn't, so I'll continue to overpay for gas and drive myself everywhere, dodging Louisiana drivers who don't know about A) the blinker, and B) the gas pedal.

In addition to our fair neighbors from the East - who are VERY familiar with the brake pedal, by the way - whoever is in charge of the SE Texas railroad also foils my daily commute by unleashing the World's Slowest Train any time I try to get through downtown Beaumont.

(And by "any" time, I mean "every" time.)

Thanks to the Brilliant City Planners of Yore, going ALL the way around downtown is the only option to avoid said Train, other than playing "automotive statue" for about a half hour with my fellow drivers.

Why so long a wait? Did I mention it's the SLOWEST TRAIN EVER. Seriously, it's like Thomas the Train pulls this thing.

Why can't I plan my day around it? I'd love to, if it ran on a schedule other than whenever I happen to be driving to work - this is not a German train, folks.

In the Train's defense, the poor thing looks so old and beaten down even hobos probably don't ride it. Though, if you ask Baby Boomer hobos, this new generation of hobos doesn't know the meaning of hard hobo-work, so I can't really qualify that statement.

Anyway, I'm all for taking time to stop and smell the roses and, let's be honest, sitting still for a few minutes is probably a good thing.

I do like to remain active, so until an enterprising young hobo sets up a newsstand by the tracks, I'm going to start keeping a book or crossword puzzle with me to pass the time. It'll also help when I get stuck behind a Louisiana driver.