Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Bring on the Faire!

When I was a kid, I loved the Disney version of Robin Hood. In fact, I even liked the Kevin Costner version. Though, upon review as an adult many things about it make no sense, especially Costner's questionable accent that's definitely not British, and is more like a cross between something from Australia and New Jersey.

Anyway, I'm just saying that medieval things are cool, I enjoy some swashbuckling on occasion, and am on board with any excuse to chow down on a turkey leg, which is why I can't wait to head west to Plantersville for the Texas Renaissance Festival this Saturday.

Now, before you immediately assume that I'm a "nerd" who still "lives with his mom" and obsesses over Lord of the Rings I'll have you know there are several reasons why the Renaissance Festival is my Awesome Idea for the Weekend.

1) Jousting - The closest we get to this in Beaumont is when traffic on Dowlen Road is heavy. Just think, wouldn't it be nice shove a large pole through the radiator of that car that makes an unprotected left in front of you without signaling?
2) It's the biggest - The festival in Texas is the world's largest - over 370,000 people attended last year - because Texas rules at everything even recreating the 14th century.
3) Mini-road trip - Plantersville is a couple hours west, and Saturday's weather is supposed to be fantastic, so you can escape without spending too much money.
4) Check out the locals - I'm not saying that the people who dress up to work/attend the Renaissance Festival are weird. I mean, I'm not going in costume. But I will say that if you're averse to beards, tights, earrings, swords, satin, tattoos, beards, and sub-par dental work than you might feel uncomfortable. For the rest of us, it's the best people-watching event ever.
5) Get married - What, you haven't always dreamed of saying your nuptials in a full suit of armor standing next to a band of merry Lords and Ladies playing lutes and drinking ale? OK fine, neither have I. But it's kinda cool to know the option exists, right?

I could go on, but I think you get where I'm coming from. The Renaissance Festival will be awesome, so look for me there. I'll be the one walking around yelling, "Prepare for the fight scene!"