Be it resolved...Part II

Southeast Texas, here we find ourselves at an annual impasse of time.

2009 is encroaching upon us and we at MEvBLOG are taking a few moments to impart our unsolicited opinions on what changes those with power and fame should make.

Frankly, it's a whole lot easier than looking around at the glaringly obvious changes we should be making in our own life - something we may/may not plan to tackle mid-January-ish.

Anyway, in the second edition of THINGS WE WOULD CHANGE IF WE RULED THE WORLD, here are a few more things we'd like to see rectified next year .

Pay BISD's superintendent LESS money when kids don't graduate and get into college. Hey...if students are held back and funding is denied schools because of standardized test results, Dr. Carrol Thomas should have some sort of standard that dictates whether or not he receives his ridiculous salary (which is more than Vice-President-elect Joe Biden will earn in 2009...BTW).

Keep Amy Poehler on 'Saturday Night Live.' She's the funniest woman on SNL since Tina Fey left. We love Kristen Wiig, but Poehler will sacrifice her self-esteem in order to make us laugh, no matter what - sort of like Sarah Palin, but on purpose. We think the producers should invent a contractual obligation that keeps her in the cast, and us watching, because nobody really enjoys a lone Seth Myers at the Weekend Update desk.

Force Sarah Palin to stay in the news. Speaking of Palin...hey...stop with the jeering already! If she stays, we get more Tina Fey. How 'bout that, huh? You're with us now.

No more hurricanes. Mother Nature will be on forced leave for 2009. Official reason? She's too exhausted from raising twin toddlers Katrina and Rita, adopted exchange student Humberto, and surprise newborn Ike, to produce any more hell raising kiddos.

No more 70 year-old women are allowed to give birth. Unless the human race is nearing extinction in 2009, science should cease fire on the geriatric fertility front. And if an apocalypse of that scale does happen, we will be curious to find out how the 70 year-old woman beat out the rest of humanity for survival.

Pay BISD's superintendent LESS money. Period. I mean, I'm merely asking...is he REALLY worth over $300,000 a year?

Got some of your own ideas for 2009? Hit us up at mdanelo@beaumontenterprise.com or in the Comments section.