Splitting hairs...and the check

According to a press release from Simon & Schuster, two Money magazine columnists wrote a book about the fine art of splitting the check, and have compiled their top five check-splitting horror stories of 2008.

Everyone loves year-end lists, and many Southeast Texans will probably have to endure some sort of divide-the-ticket-among-crazy-family-members fiasco over the next couple weeks, I thought I'd post their tales.

Enjoy. And feel free to submit your own horror story in the Comments section. Make it your Christmas present to me. I promise not to return it.

TOP 5 CHECK SPLITTING HORROR STORIES OF 2008
by Jeanne Fleming and Leonard Schwarz

1. Surprise! Now pay - A friend invited us to his home for a surprise 40^th birthday party for his wife. A week before the event, he called to say he’d had to move the party to a restaurant because it had gotten too big for their house. It was a great bash—except that, as soon as we’d all sung “Happy Birthday” and the birthday girl finished opening her gifts, the waiters delivered checks to each guest for a portion of the bill.

2. 70/30 is halvsies, right? - When my college roommate and her family came to town, she proposed our families get together. Our daughter was away at camp, but my husband and I arranged to meet Jennifer, her husband and their two teenage sons for dinner at a destination restaurant they wanted to try. When the check arrived, her husband said “Why don’t we just split this down the middle? That seems easiest.”

3. Thanks for the donation...and lunch - After a year of discussions, I agreed to contribute a considerable amount of money to my alma mater to endow a chair for the History department. When I met with the head of the development office to sign the final papers, he proposed we go out for a celebratory lunch. At his suggestion, we went to an upscale place; then, when the bill arrived, he said: “Too bad we’re a non-profit institution. Otherwise, I’d fight you for that check.”

4. Mine's free, yours isn't - Recently, a friend suggested we try a new cafe that’s a lot pricier than the sandwich shops where we usually meet for lunch. So we went and had a nice, though expensive, meal. But then, instead of splitting the check as we always do, (he) pulled out a buy-one-meal-get-one-free coupon he’d found in a newspaper and said “This pays for my lunch. Let me know what I owe you for the tip.”

5. Welcome! Hope you remembered your checkbook! - My husband’s well-heeled aunt and uncle, whom we rarely see except at big family events, invited us to dinner at their home. We accepted and, of course, took along a nice bottle of wine. At the end of the evening, our hosts thanked us warmly for coming, then told us we owed them thirty bucks to cover the cost of our food. And, no, they weren’t kidding.