Open letter to Facebook users

Dear Fine People of the Facebook Community,

Greetings to you! (Each and every 150 million of you, of course.) We at MEvBLOG hate to interrupt you while your not working, but we bring crucial information.

Before we get into it, though, let's just put this out there - Facebook is awesome. We're big fans. It's a great way to keep in touch with friends and can fill the mundane moments in a slow work day - for other people, of course...

However, many are unaware of the proper rules of etiquette for online social networking, which is not surprising. It's difficult to surrender the Internet to manners since, at times, it can be...loose with it's morals, shall we say.

(Sort of like a preacher's kid. Only with the ability to check movie times 24/7.)

No matter. We are not saints here and don't strive to inflict guilt upon you. However, we do want to provide a much-needed public service, and thought we'd lay down some rules we think all 150 million of you should keep in mind.

1. Don't post anything that you wouldn't say or display in a room filled with every person on your friends list. It's impressive that you might be able to do a keg stand, while taking a Jell-O shot. Really, that's a useful life skill. But if you have several hundred friends, would they all be as enamored with it as your fraternity was?

2. Don't assume that everyone is as addicted to it as you might be. Not everyone makes it a point to check in with you in real life, so why would the do it online? If you post something and no one responds, don't throw a pity party. (Unless it's a real party, and there's an open bar, in which case send us an invite, because we're there.)

3. Tone down the "poking" and the "super poking" nonsense. We get it. Poking is clever. Yay for poking! It harks back to the days of elementary yore. But, jut like in real life, once or twice is adorable, yet three or more virtual pokes can make someone want to turn around and smack you in the face. For real.

And most important...

4. Don't get your feelings hurt if someone doesn't accept your friends request. Ahh yes...To friend, or not to friend? We got a friend request from a user SEVEN times. At first we didn't remember who he was, but he kept at it. Finally we were like, "Geez dude...whatever. Be our friend. Just STOP ASKING ALREADY!" So now, while we didn't feel one way or another about him for almost ten years, we really don't care much for him now.

And that, dear Facebookies, is the"crux of the biscuit," if you will. Your virtual life should not exceed your actual one. Each of you is free to post pictures of you dancing a jig with Scottish drag queen at a Haggis festival in Nederland...or whatever. But if someone, say, chooses to exercise a bit of discretion and limit your access to his/her life, then let them.

And try to reserve your judgment and scorn only for those who use MySpace.

Happy posting,
MEvBLOG

P.S. And if you're serious about throwing that pity party thing, Facebook us later.