Three things that will NOT happen

We realize that yesterday's post was a bit on the serious side, so we're going to lighten things up the rest of this week.

It's been a while since we've taken a look-see at breaking news around the country and, when we checked this morning's headlines, it was clear that nothing much has changed recently.

Awesome.

However, a handful of stories caught our attention, but not because they foretold change on the horizon.

No, in fact, they solidified a few core fundamentals we hold dear at MEvBLOG, like - waiting until you have no money to start saving doesn't make sense; using taxpayer dollars to buy a private jet might anger said taxpayers; and having eight babies at one time is something we could never do. Ever. For real.

Here are three things that will NOT happen today, or any time in the near future.

1. Citigroup will NOT be flying the friendly skies. This morning, Citigroup decided to say "Thanks, but no thanks," to that Private Jet to Nowhere. After receiving $45 billion in bailout money from the government - all which was taxpayer funded - certain executives used some of that money to purchase a $50 million corporate jet.

We're sure it was so the 50,000 people they plan to lay off could shuttle around the country interviewing for new jobs, right?

After a massive public outcry, and a knuckle-slapping from the government, Citi returned the jet. This just goes to show you should ALWAYS save your receipts!

2. Texas will NOT embark on a shopping spree at the nearest Galleria. According to Gov. Rick "How's my hair?" Perry, our future budget looks kinda tight. Perry suggests cutting spending. And tightening our purse strings. Don't quote us on this, but there was probably a line about "bootstraps" at some point.

In response, the House of Representatives passed the following unanimous resolution that said, Be it resolved, pursuant to the Governor's address, we all respond accordingly with a magnanimous, "Duh."

3. America will NEVER tire of babies. Yesterday, a woman in California gave birth to octuplets - six boys and two girls - making them the second set of live-born octuplets ever. We're glad to report that the mother and children are all doing well, though the mom reports being slightly fatigued.

Right. Sure. Makes sense.

The extreme reproductive endeavors of others is something that fascinates audiences - see HERE and HERE for proof - and we support it because one's family should be one's number one priority. Besides, it's not like these fertile Californians planned for eight kids right out of the chute, though they will get a LOT of media attention for it.

Is the spotlight for this sort of thing deserved? That's not for us to say, really. We are male, and thus somewhat unprepared to say which women deserve what awards for what kinds of baby-making prowess.

All we know is we could never do it. Literally.

That's all folks. Enjoy your day! We'll be back tomorrow with our Oscar predictions - we hear they give awards out there.