The Olympics and Oprah

I mean, let's be honest...did America really think it had a chance at getting the 2016 Olympics? Sure, Chicago is a great city and huge sports town, but let's look at what some of the other finalists had going for them:

Tokyo - The Japanese cultural rivalry with China would have been in full effect via the Opening Ceremonies. The government would have probably commissioned Sony Labs to create a fire breathing Godzilla that would have lit the Olympic torch.

Madrid - Sure Barcelona already represented the country back in '92, but Spain's capital would've made a the perfect locale for a world-wide festival. And we'd all have paid good money to see wee, little Bob Costas dressed as a matador, right?

Rio de Janero - First host city in South America + the world's most beautiful people who hardly ever wear clothes = global unification at its best.

So yes, Chicago is a historic melting pot that could easily host a gazillion athletes and toursists, but without Godzilla, bull fighting, and luscious booty-shaking, you can see how it easily got usurped.

However, the real loser in all this is really Oprah Winfrey. It must totally suck to be her right now. No, think about it...one day you're worth $2.7 billion and the next you lose $400 million and are worth ONLY $2.3 billion. One month the entire city of Chicago forgoes any/all sense of shame to perform a choreographed dance in your honor, and the next people are blaming you for distracting the President from the war in Afghanistan. (Honestly Oprah...Obama's not Gail.)

It's OK Oprah...I'm sure you can find someone who will hug you for an easy $50K. (I'd do it for half.) If only you'd invested in your own fire-breathing Godzilla instead of starting that school for girls in South Africa...So. Selfish.