The 2009 Matties: OMG! New Moon! Zzz...

Last year I had to report on the release of both the final “Twilight” book and release of the first movie and, from that experience, I bare scars for wounds that may never heal.

This year, I was cajoled into seeing “New Moon” with a friend at the Alamo Drafthouse where, by the grace of God, one can drink. And drink, we did, during what might be one of the slowest movies ever because, seriously people, paint dries with more emotion and verve then this flick.

In honor of not having to write about it - especially while slightly buzzed and surrounded by the ear-piercing squeals of pre-teens - the 2009 Matty for Best Story I Didn't Have to cover goes to "Twilight: New Moon"...and the $200 million it made opening weekend.

SIDENOTE: In 2010 I hope to present a Matty to both Vampires and Werewolves as the Literary Trends That Extinguished Quickest.