If you missed us yesterday, it's because we weren't here.
(Like that logic? It's like that time we were stuck in traffic in Houston and there was a sign on a condo building that said, "If you lived here, you're be home now." Thanks for pointing that out.)
Like the intrepid reporters we are, we ventured out of our comfort zone at MEvBLOG Central to check on Galveston Island. Spring break is coming and Galveston is usually a top destination for many Texans. Some might be worried that Hurricane Ike didn't leave much of it for folks to enjoy, but that's not the case.
As you can see from the picture to the right, that's us playing with a penguin named Hendrix at Moody Gardens. We got to pet it (they're quite soft, actually) and speak with it (they're quite articulate).
It was difficult to understand what he said, but we think the gist had something to do with being upset by the militant way his people were portrayed in Madagascar.
Having a "Penguin Encounter" is one of many things you can do at Moody Gardens - one of several places that's reopening in time for the Spring Break/Summer season. We definitely recommend checking it out.
And tell Hendrix we said hi. If he immediately flaps his wings and poops on the spot, that means he remembers us.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Penguins in Galveston!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Phat Tuesday!
Today is Mardi Gras! For those of you Southeast Texans who might not speak fluent Catholic - read: Baptists - this translates to "Fat Tuesday." It is, of course, the only time of the year when it's cool to drink, eat, and party like crazy during the week, then stumble into work the next day around noon.
(Unless St. Patrick's Day happens to fall on a weekday. Then, it's a bonus year.)
In theory, the throwing down is allowed because of the next day - Ash Wednesday. It marks the beginning of the 40 day period known as Lent, when you're supposed to give something up to symbolize the sacrifices Jesus made.
Generally, good Lent-practitioners abstain from things like caffeine, sugar or alcohol. They view giving these up as on par with dying for the sins of all humanity.
They also give up eating meat on Fridays - a rule never fully explained to us in confirmation classes. But, since it means six weeks of sales on seafood at the gorcery store - a true miracle in this economy - we're on board.
So, good luck to those making sacrifices for Lent. And to those celebrating a last hurrah tonight, happy Mardi Gras! Laissez le bon temps rouler!
(That's French for, "Don't forget to fake your doctor's note for work tomorrow.")
Monday, February 23, 2009
Oscar Night 2009
Thanks to those who joined us last night as we live-blogged during the 81st Annual Academy Awards. It was a LOOOOONNNNGGGGG show but, we thought, good overall.
Especially nice was Hugh Jackman who did a great job as host - even though he bared no Wolverine claws. Not even when Sean Penn won instead of Mickey Rourke - a PERFECT opportunity if ever was one.
We also liked when the five prior winners of acting honors personally addressed the nominees. It was a great way to highlight all of them and make each feel like a winner. It took up a lot of time, but we think it was special.
FINAL OSCAR TALLY:
Slumdog Millionaire - 8
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - 3
The Dark Knight - 2
Feel free to revisit our live commentary in the post below. It'll be like you watched it with us. (To get the full effect, have your flask on standby.)
And as we said earlier, feel free to pass us on to your friends. If we aren't your cup of tea, e-mail your complaints to Sean.Penn@IreallyREALLYshouldn'thavewon.com.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
MEvBLOG's Live Oscar Commentary!
Greetings Southeast Texas!
We're here at MEvBLOG Central during the 81st Annual Academy Awards, live blogging our hearts out as Hollywood puts on a huge show.
Refresh this page throughout the night to read our take on all the Oscar festivitie - who won, who should have won, and who get's this year's Crazy Bjork Swan Dress Award.
And now... LET THE SHOW BEGIN!
6:55 - We flipped on ABC just in time to see Hugh Jackman give Barbara Walters a lap dance, proving that there ARE cameras in the champagne room after all.
7:09 - Danny Boyle and the ENTIRE Slumdog Millionaire family is working the red carpet. They're talking about Miley Cyrus which we'll pretend we didn't hear because they're all so happy and adorable.
7:15 - Miley Cyrus just said Angelina is her favorite person in "all of history." Sorry Abe Lincoln. We know you had you're fingers crossed.
7:20 - The Pricewaterhouse Coopers accountants with "The Briefcases" arrive on the red carpet and are introduced by an odd montage of scenes in movies where people say the word "accountant." Moments like this are why TiVo was invented.
7:26 - OK...the show's producer just said there's a curtain for one set design that uses over 100,000 Swarovski crystals. Really? In this economy? If they'd just used broken glass, would all of us at home really notice the difference?
7:31 - Hugh Jackman, looking quite dapper, strolls on to the set that resembles something from Liberace's vault. No Wolverine claws...yet.
7:39 - Great opening number...though Anne Hathaway never plays along that willingly when we try to pick her up. Wolverine reference #1!
7:47 - After a minor curtain malfunction - and a long but interesting way to introduce nominees via five previous winners - the first Oscar of the night goes to...Penelope Cruz for Best Supporting Actress in Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona. The subtitle writer at Univision is pleased to have a few moments off.
7:54 - We'll watch a five hour telecast if there's more Steven Martin and Tina Fey.
7:58 - Dustin Lance Black wins Best Original Screenplay for Milk. Almost 30 minutes in and only two awards down. It's possible the show might be over just about when the stimulus package kicks in.
8:02 - Simon Beaufoy wins Best Adapted Screenplay for Slumdg Millionaire. (We repeat, more Steven Martin and Tina Fey. Just in general.)
8:05 - YAY! Wall-E wins Best Animated Film! (By the way, who's idea was the "2008 Movie Yearbook?" Can that person's Oscar idea-making privileges please be revoked?)
8:10 - La Maison En Petits Cubes wins for Best Animated Short Film. We know. We totally wanted Oktapodi to win too.
8:22 - The award for Best Art Direction & Best Makeup go to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Best Costume Design to The Duchess in front of a set that looks like Buffalo Bill's storage facility from The Silence of the Lambs.
8:26 - Seriously...why do the Oscar producers think we can't remember the movies of last year? What's with this video yearbook thing? Oh wait! Is there a party after where we all get together and sign them? If so, we're on board.
8:33 - The Oscar for Cinematography goes to Slumdog Millionaire. Plus, Ben Stiller is awesome in his send up of Joaquin Phoenix. Meanwhile...Natalie Portman, how YOU doin'?
8:38 - RECAP - While the give out the Nerd Awards Scientific and Technical Awards are announced, let's recap - Slumdog Millionaire and Benjamin Button are tied woth two Oscars each. And NO WOLVERINE CLAWS!
8:45 - OK...maybe the ONE Oscar Yearbook with James Franco and Seth Rogan from Pineapple Express would've been fine.
8:49 - Best Live Action Short is Spielzuegland, also known as A German Name No One Bothered to Learn to Pronounce Because Foreign Names are Funny.
8:53 - Time for the Big Musical Number Saluting Musical Numbers...or as we call it, When Our Dad Changes the Channel.
If you need a break, check out an interactive look at this year's Oscar nominees or play the Oscar Matching Game. Or head to the bar and make a cocktail. We're saying you've got options.
9:08 - Back from our cocktail musical break and ready for Best Supporting Actor. Not surprising, it posthumously goes to Heath Ledger.
9:16 - The award for Best Documentary goes to Man on Wire. We loved both Goldie Hawn and Mel Gibson in that one. Best Documentary Short Subject goes to Smile Pinki. We assume it's about someone who longs only for the happiness and joy of his/her smallest digit.
9:24 - OH MY HOLY FOR THE LOVE OF HAIL MARY, WOULD YOU STOP WITH THE 2008 MOVIE MONTAGES, ALREADY!!! See, Oscars...you went and made us use Caps Lock. Why would you upset us like that? WHY???
9:30 - The award for Always Awesome goes to Will Smith. Meanwhile, the Oscar for Visual Effects goes to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; Sound Design to The Dark Knight and Sound to Slumdog Millionaire.
9:35 - Did they get some kind of discount on Will Smith? Doesn't matter. He's awesome and we wish he were our drinking buddy. You know you're all with us on this and wouldn't mind having a cold one with the Fresh Prince. Oh, and Best Film Editing went to Slumdog Millionaire, BTW.
9:40 - RECAP - Slumdog Millionaire - 4...Benjy Button - 3...and The Dark Knight - 2. And...Sigh...STILL no Wolverine claws. Come ON, Jackman!
9:43 - Time to present the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award to Jerry Lewis. Totally deserving since he's probably spent more hours in all his telethons raising money for muscular dystrophy, than we've spent watching movies in the last ten years.
9:51 - Back on track with the nominees for Best Original Score. It goes to Slumdog Millionaire. (Sidenote to Zac Efron - LOOK ALIVE MAN! You're with grown ups tonight.)
10:01 - CHOREOGRAPHED BOLLYWOOD DANCE SEQUENCE!!! And...John Legend? Best Original Song is "Jai Ho" from Slumdog Millionaire. By the way, we predicted the Mass Caucasian Discomfort in the audience in case you were wondering.
10:07 - The Voice of Aslan and The Girl From Slumdog present the Best Foreign Language Film award to Departures (Japan). We love the Japanese gentleman who accepted and said he was, "Berry, berry happy!" But now we also crave a smoothie.
10:10 - Please put Queen Latifah in the above category with Will Smith. We'd like to form a pub trivia team with both of them.
10:17 (Yes...that's the actual time.) - Four more to go. Stay with us people. Go make another cocktail.
10:20 - Danny Boyle wins Best Director for Slumdog Millionaire. And it was nice of him to not ask Reese Witherspoon if she was pregnant in front of anyone. (Because you know we were all asking that in our heads at home.)
10:32 - Best Actress goes to Kate Winslet for The Reader. She's so loverly. That's British for "lovely."
10:43 - Sean Penn is named Best Actor for Milk. But we all wish it was Mickey Rourke. He deserved it more and even wore his Secret Decoder Pinky Ring and Lucky Platinum Tooth in case anyone needed a can of tuna opened at the Kodak Theater.
10:46 - GO AWAY SEAN PENN! Please. You're turning into Micheal Moore.
10:53 - Steven Speilberg - who is welcome to join our pub trivia team with Will Smith and Queen Latifah - gives the award for Best Picture to Slumdog Millionaire.
That's all folks! Thanks for joining us tonight. Feel free to pass us on to your friends if you liked. If not, e-mail your complaints to Sean.Penn@Ishouldn'thavewon.com.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
LIVE! During the Oscars
Weekend greetings MEvBLOG readers!
We bring you this special edition as a reminder to join us tomorrow during the Oscars telecast for our live blog commentary.
As mentioned before, we're looking forward to the Bollywood invasion - in the form of Slumdog Millionaire - and are keeping our fingers crossed for an X-Men crossover event, as Hugh Jackman ("Wolverine") is hosting the shindig.
Check it out, tomorrow night, here at MEvBLOG Central. See you all then!
Friday, February 20, 2009
'El volumen' at Mardi Gras
Last night, while covering the first night of Mardi Gras in Port Arthur, TX, we happened across a stage playing Tejano music.
Actually, "blasting" Tejano music is probably more like it.
Since we grew up in San Antonio, and have experienced many outdoor festivals chock full of Latino culture, loud Tejano music in a carnival atmosphere is something we welcome.
However, we almost lost it - seriously laughing in the streets until we cried - when a sizable African-American woman with both purple, green and yellow hair ringlets and finger nails shouted, "Oh Lordy! Can somebody PLEASE turn DOWN the Mexicans!"
Sorry honey. When it's a party, ain't nobody can turn them down.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
This Sunday: 'High School Musical,' starring Wolverine
In a previous post, we mentioned that Hugh Jackman is hosting the Oscars this Sunday, and ruminated how particularly awesome it would be if he hosted the show as Wolverine.
(Don't you think it would spice up the telecast when he flung out his adamantium claws and snarled at the winners for Best Costume Design? We do.)
Anyway, for those of you who don't know - or aren't familiar with the wonders of Wikipedia - Hugh Jackman actually has quite the theatrical resume. The man can sing and dance like nobody's business.
We predicted an opening number filled with "jazz hands" - which, again, could be enhance by the flinging of the claws...just a thought - and it looks like we were correct.
Jackman will perform some sort of musical number and joining him will be Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens.
And Amanda Seyfried and Dominic Cooper from Mamma Mia!
And Beyonce.
And us.
Just kidding about that last one, but why not? As long as this is turning into the kitchen sink musical version of the Academy Awards, give us a shot?
Our performance skills are definitely up to par. We once won a karaoke contest in a dive bar by belting out "I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys. (Winning was great, but frankly it was just an honor to be nominated.)
Maybe we'll all get lucky and they'll turn it into Wolverine! The Musical!.
Editor's Note: We'll be live blogging during the Oscars telecast on Sunday. So, if you're watching with your computers handy, feel free to check out what we think of this holy Hollywood shin-dig.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Love at the Wellness Center (Revisted)
Remember "R." and "C." our Wellness Center love birds?
Last week, in our most popular Quick Poll to date, 73 percent of you thought C. should go on a date with R. Eighteen percent of those in favor thought C. should exchange a few e-mails first, just to be safe. (They were probably overly cautious due to bitterness felt at being alone on Valentine's Day.)
Whether C. was as cautious or, dove right into the deep end with R., we'll never know.
BUT we do know - according to our super awesome source at the local bakery - that R. did, in fact, take C. out.
How did it go? Our source reported that R. said things, "Went very well."
Excellent! We at MEvBLOG are very happy that you kids gave it a go. And we hope C. is as enthusiastic as R.
Feel free to keep us posted. Or don't. It's possible you don't want your personal life scattered about the Internet. In that case, we understand. Good luck anyway!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Automakers, Fireballs, and (of course) Facebook: What people are talking about today
We began our Wednesday with a quick scan of what's gotten the people atwitter this days - we're nothing, if not all about "the people" here at MEvBLOG.
As best as we can tell from a smattering of articles on the Internet, the "F" in Facebook now stands for "facism;" UFO's are colliding in fiery mass over the skies of Texas, and automakers plan to suck the country dry of all its resources.
Here's what's on the minds of the people today:
FACEBOOK TO OWN YOU...OR NOT
After an enormous online backlash, Facebook decided to reverse it's recently changed terms of service. The online social networking site changed their original TOS to include language which essentially said that if you cancel your account, Facebook can keep all your content and use it how they see fit at any time.
The changes angered many people - presumably because they had big plans for post-Facebook licensing of those relevant pictures documenting that crazy New Year's Eve when they got drunk with a pregnant woman in a wheelchair.
ACTUAL ALIENS INVADE TEXAS
Texans from Dallas to Austin are going crazy after seeing what appeared to be two fireballs colliding, accompanied by several sonic booms on Sunday. This was a few days after the FAA gave airline pilots the heads up to watch for falling space debris from a collision between a Russian and American sattellite.
Also reported in North and Central Texas were two guys in black suits and sunglasses who kept asking people to stare at a glowing metal wand. Witnesses recall a bright flash of light and the overwhelming desire to get jiggy wit' it.
AUTOMAKERS ARE FISCAL BLACK HOLE
While President Obama is crossing his fingers and hoping that slipping a few billion to American homeowners will hold massive foreclosures at bay, automakers are asking for $14 billion more in bailout money.
weroofads;lkjfeslkjasjdf;lk'd;lkwfedsfalm;alsdf;sldkf!!@!#@!##$!!@#$!@!!!!!!!
(The above nonsense came from us smacking our head against the keyboard repeatedly. We assume it's the normal reaction when companies, like GM or Chrysler, scrape the bottom of their own barrels, than scrape the bottom of your barrel, than ask you to give them your empty barrel and you're left with nothing - not even the clothes on your back - and you can't even wear your own barrel.)
Monday, February 16, 2009
One for the comic lovers
According to this article on BoxOffice.com, Josh Brolin ("Bran" from The Goonies) and John Malkovich ("John Malkovich" and "John Malkovich" from Being John Malkovich) will star in a Warner Bros. film adaptaion of the DC Comics character Jonah Hex.
According to Wikipedia, Jonah Hex (right) is a horrifically disfigured Confederate soldier who's mother ran off with a travelling salesman and father sold him into slavery to the Apaches in exchange for a pile of pelts.
According to Webster's Dictionary, "pelts" are animal skins with fur still on them.
According to the fact that - a mere three paragraphs into this post - we no longer care about Jonas Hex, his bout of parental bad luck, or proper fur trading vocabulary, we advise those in the pro-Confederate, comic book adaptation demographic not to set their expectations for this film too high.
FYI.
Friday, February 13, 2009
He's Just Not That Into You - the condensed version
To the guys who may be asked to take their girlfriends to He's Just Not That Into You for Valentine's Day, we strongly urge you to create an explosive diversion and escape far away with your beloved.
It's not that this movie is terrible, so much as the people in it are terrible, as in they are terribly stupid, terribly cloying and terrible whiny. This is really too bad because there's not an actor in the bunch we dislike.
The saving grace comes in the form of Ginnifer Goodwin (Big Love) and Justin Long (the "Mac" guy), who represent the "every-man/woman." Each charmingly captures the notions that made the non-fiction book on which the film is based a best-seller.
They are funny and endearing, especially Goodwin who - like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany's - manages to be the most adorable kind of nutcase. Every other character we'd like to beat silly with a cane.
If it's a Sunday afternoon, it's raining, and nothing else is in your DVR queue, then watch it. Otherwise, you'll be fine with the condensed version here.
Warning: Minimal spoilers below
HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
The movie opens with women of every culture giving bad advice to their friends about why a guy isn't calling them. Particularly offensive/funny is the African tribal scene when one tribal woman says, "Maybe he forgot your hut number?"
Move to a date between Ginnifer Goodwin and "E" from Entourage who looks a hobbit and always seems bummed (like he slept through hobbit auditions for The Lord of the Rings).
In a hip, trendy Baltimore restaurant...
Ginnifer Goodwin: (smiles cutely) This is a great. I love dates! Aren't we having fun?
Kevin Connolly: Yeah. Whatever. I'm just here because my agent packaged me in this movie.
Ginnifer Goodwin: (smiles sweetly) Umm...Ok...well...call me!
Kevin Connolly: Sure. (walks away and calls The Johansson) Hi. How are you? Can I see you? I miss you? Is this annoying? Am I bothering you? You just told me not to touch you, and didn't say anything about calling. I'm NOT TOUCHING so you can't get mad! NOT TOUCHING! CAN'T GET MAD!
In a hip, trendy Baltimore market...
The Johansson: I must hang up on you. I'm seducing Will Tippin from Alias in the supermarket.
Bradley Cooper: Damn. You're hot. How's my dental work?
The Johansson: It's perfect. Like me. For I am THE JOHANSSON!
Bradley Cooper: I'm married to the chick from A Beautiful Mind.
The Johansson: Is she as boobtacular as THE JOHANSSON?
Bradley Cooper: Negative. But she's a much better actress.
In a hip trendy Baltimore bar...
Ginnifer Goodwin: (smiles adorably) Why isn't that small be-freckled man I went out with calling me?
The Mac Guy: I know him. He's not calling you. He's not into you. Trust me. I own a bar. Plus, my operating system can multi-task without freezing up and rebooting.
In a hip trendy Baltimore loft...
Ben Affleck: I love you baby. Don't you love our loft? With all the awesome exposed brick? Baltimore is amazing. With amazing architecture and great places for wealthy white folk like us to live.
Jennifer Aniston: I know. It's almost like The Wire and Homicide never happened. BTW...I want to get married. Marry me or move out.
Ben Affleck: Wow...um no. I'll go live on my boat. Thanks though.
Jennifer Aniston: FINE! You're just like HIM! HE said the the same thing and the next thing you know HE'S on the cover of Us Weekly with HER and now THEY live in France and flaunt their Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat of babies wherever they go!
Ben Affleck: I don't think this is about me any more...
In a hip trendy Baltimore workspace...
Ginnifer Goodwin: (smiles SO cutely) I think the Mac guy likes me.
Jennifer Connelly: Sure. Whatever. My husband with the perfect smile is cheating on me with THE JOHANSSON. And I have an Oscar. I don't stand a chance in this movie.
In a hip trendy Baltimore magazine...
Drew Barrymoore: Why can't I meet a nice single straight man? I mean...I try! I surround myself with dozens of gay men at a magazine for gay men and give/get advice from gay men all day. WHAT am I doing wrong?
In a hip trendy Baltimore office...
The Johansson: You may seduce me again.
Bradley Cooper: Yeah...I'm over it.
The Johansson: But...I am THE JOHANSSON! I will reign down SENSUAL FIRE upon you from my SUPPLE LIPS!
Bradley Cooper: I've got perfect orthodontia baby. I'll survive.
In a hip trendy Baltimore duplex...
The Mac Guy: Yeah...I'm not really into you. But, if you want, I could you hook up with a discounted iPhone.
Ginnifer Goodwin: (smiles SO cutely AND adorably) I may over analyze every little thing a guy does or says. And I may put myself out there WAY too much. And I may ALWAYS get cast in a supporting role. But at least I have hope that my spunky cuteness will make that part the the only good role in a movie of people you want to strap to a Slapping Machine.
The Mac Guy: Yeah...it turns out I'm totally into you after all.
Ginnifer Goodwin: (squeals and claps)
THE END
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Tarantino's "Inglourius Basterds" trailer
Depending on who you ask, Quentin Tarantino, director of Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and Kill Bill, is either a genius when it comes to narrative storytelling, or a misogynistic geek obsessed with violence.
We think he's both.
Inglourious Basterds - a remake of a 1970's spaghetti western/WWII revenge tale with the same grammatically incorrect title - will premiere at the Cannes Film Festival this May, than in Southeast Texas in August. It stars Brad Pitt, Diane Krueger (National Treasure) and Mike Myers. Like many Tarantino films it has several interwoven storylines, all revolving around separate plots to bring down the Third Reich.
Tarantino tells his stories in very creative ways, but his films hyper- sexualize both violence and women - and often violence against women - for reasons we don't understand. They're generally just too much for us.
In a previous job we worked in Hollywood and had several run-ins with him. He was one of the nicest people we ever met, but it was clear that he mentally marched to the beat of a different drummer.
If you're a fan of his work, you'll probably love this movie. If you haven't liked any of his other movies, we say save you're money and go see the Transformers sequel.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Survivor: Your Office
Someone once asked us, "What's MEvBLOG Central like?" Picture paradise, we said.
Combine the sunniest day you've ever had with a bevy of beautiful and intelligent people, and subtract any/all constant resurgence of someone named "Joe the Plumber." Supermodels serve us lunch on silver trays, prepared by the entire cast of Top Chef, and every time someone votes in one of our Quick Polls, not only does and angel get it's wings, but we also make enough money to take that trip to Vegas those Wells Fargo execs canceled.
Our friend blinked and said, "Are you serious?"
Of course not. We work in an office like everyone else - though, for the most part, we genuinely like the people we work with. However, that's not been the case in every office and if many workplaces held a Survivor-ish compeition, more than a few would be unanimously voted off the island.
Possibly that one boss who is the ultimate micromanager, or that loud talker one desk over you know WAY too much about because she's always on her cell. And don't forget about the dude never speaks to you then acts like he's your best friend when he needs to copy your TPS reports.
Since we're all about the polling these days we're curious to see who at your job you'd look in the eye, ask to leave the conference room, and then dramatically announce, "The tribe has spoken."
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Facebook and The 25 Things
As mentioned in a previous post, we here at MEvBLOG Central enjoy logging on to Facebook now and then - or as some parents tend to call it, "The Facebook."
And, if you're a member of said social networking site, you've probably been "tagged" to write 25 random things about yourself.
For those of you unfamiliar, this is a viral activity where someone tags you in a list of 25 things and you - this is where it gets confusing - write 25 random things about yourself.
The idea is to learn new, quirky things about people with whom you're connected. It's been quite popular and, according to The Wall Street Journal, nearly 5 million "25 Things" notes were written between January 26 and February 2. (That's 125 million things...in case you were curious.)
Why do people have such a need to share their random nuances? Who knows? Maybe people feel they've kept their oddities a secret for way too long. Either way, people are all over this like fat kids on cake.
So, since we've enjoyed polling lately, we thought we'd throw this out there too. How do you feel about sharing 25 random things about yourself?
Monday, February 9, 2009
Love at the Wellness Center?
When we stopped for coffee at our favorite local bakery this morning, we overheard someone reading a note another patron was sending to a woman he met when working out at the Wellness Center.
The gist of the note from "R." to "C." - names abbreviated to keep us from getting sued be sensitive to those involved - is that he enjoyed talking with her and would like to take her out to dinner. Along with the note he sent some tasty looking heart-shaped cookies.
We think this is awesome and that C. - whoever she is - should totally go out with R. They met when working out, so obviously he likes to take care of himself, and he can afford to splurge on cookies, so he must be doing fine at work.
Let's face it, R. might not be "the one," but he'll always be "the one who sent cookies and a tasteful note." Clearly, C. should give him a chance.
And good for you "R." for going out on a limb in a sweet way that isn't stalker-y. We hope things work out for you kids.
What do you folks think?
Thursday, February 5, 2009
A late afternoon Quick Poll for lovers
This posting is kind of late in the day, we know, but things are still a-twitter here at MEvBLOG Central over Jamie being kicked off of Top Chef last night. Sure, she hailed from Bummersville - a small town in Bummerton County - but she had mad chef skills. (Unlike Leah who isn't very good, is extremely immature and could Padma, for the love of Bravo, PLEASE ask her to pack her knives and GO?! Or, forget the knives. Just ask her to GO.)
Anyway...where were we? Oh yes...late in the day post. So yeah...our bad.
We're currently atempting to be the "Cyrano de Bergerac" of Southeast Texas for an upcoming Valentine's Day story - which drops this Tuesday, Feb. 10...Holla! We've been collecting gifts suggested by local shop owners and throughout the past day, many people in our newsroom have stopped by to weigh in with their opinion of said gifts.
Most say that they would never want "X" gift for Valentine's Day and it's a different one each time. One photographer, expressing her disdain in the lack of "Valentines-y" suggestions looked at us and said, "You will never be my boyfriend."
(We didn't know how to respond to this - mostly because we can't remember what is and isn't covered in our workplace harrasment policy.)
So we decided to bring you into this discussion. Here are a few suggested V-Day gifts for him/her. What do you think?
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
PIE!
We can't say off hand that we know anyone who doesn't like pies - and frankly we're not sure that we want to.
Pies are sweetly baked crust filled with happiness and topped with joy and good things for every man woman and child - the dessert equivalent of President Obama's campaign platform.
In fact, there should be a day that celebrates nothing but pies. Oh wait! There is!
A week and a half ago, the nation - no, the world - celebrated "National Pie Day." (Seriously, it's a holiday. Start lobbying your HR team for the day off now.)
Here in the Mont, residents and staff of the Hotel Beaumont retirement community paid proper tribute by hosting a pie contest that featured a buffet of sliceable delights.
We judged this event - both an honor and a pleasure and not only because we spent an hour noshing on approximately 20 pies.
There were silky smooth ice-box pies of all variety - coconut cream, lemon meringue, key lime, chocolate silk and buttermilk - as well as fruit and nut pies - pecan, cherry, apple and more...and more...and more.
Finally, after we were stuffed, and someone made a joke about the blueberry pie scene from Stand By Me, we had to stop.
In the end, the best overall pie was Norman Szafir's pecan pie - wonderfully rich in every bite - though Szafir was unavailable to accept his award. He was taking a nap at the time.
We accepted the award on his behalf and, just as if we accepted an Oscar or a Grammy or any other famous award on behalf of a Hollywood star, tried to keep it.
We gave it back when a Hotel Beaumont staffer plied us with more pie.
A version of this post ran as Matthew Danelo's "Check Please" column on Wednesday, February 4.
Monday, February 2, 2009
'Taken' - the condensed version
So, on Friday, we saw Taken with Liam Neeson. (Neeson stars in the movie, we didn't actually see it with him...just clarifying.)
Anyway, Taken has one of the worst scripts of all time, but it's definitely great fun to watch. Essentially, it's about 10-15 minutes of his daughter being so irritating that you almost don't care when she's kidnapped, and 80 minutes of Neeson kicking Albanian-kidnapper-butt.
It was number one at the box office this weekend which proves, yet again, that Americans love watching "retired" spies beat up foreigners.
(FYI...if you're a high school girl and your father sees this movie, it's safe to say you're never going to be allowed to study abroad. Ever. Best of luck making other plans.)
Warning: Minimal spoilers below
Liam Neeson is a "retired" CIA agent who moved to LA to be closer to the daughter he never paid much attention to because he was busy saving the world working. Jean Grey from X-Men plays his really, really, really b*tchy ex-wife who remarried a really, really, really rich guy.
Neeson's daughter goes to Europe with a friend to follow U2 around on their European tour (seriously...not making this up at all), but as soon as she gets to Paris is...you guessed it...taken.
TAKEN
Liam Neeson: Happy birthday sweetie! I bought you a karaoke machine. The kids these days like these things, right? You know...with the music, and the singing, and the jive?
Jean Grey: (snorts) Whatever, she's not a Japanese business man.
Daughter: I love it. But my step-dad bought me a pony so now...I must dis you.
Neeson: Wow, you're almost as irritating as the character you played on the first season of Lost who was killed off and no one cared. But I'll just drink beer with my ex-CIA buddies, instead.
Ex-CIA Buddies: AYYY-OHHHH! BEER! STEAKS! CIGARS! GOOD TIMES! But seriously, though you should think about this private security gig we've got going.
Neeson: I'm "retired." I enjoy doing nothing and smothering my daughter. I think it's creating a bond between us.
Daughter: Daddy, can I go to Paris for the summer with my kinda slutty friend Amanda?
Neeson: I'm not comfortable with that.
Daughter: (Hurricane Tantrum makes landfall) THERE IS NO BOND BETWEEN US!
Jean Grey: If I were still in the X-Men I'd use my psychic powers to force you.
Neeson: FINE. Seriously...ENOUGH with "X-Men" already. You ALWAYS throw that in my face!
Jean Grey: I was also a Bond girl and could crush you with my thighs.
Neeson: Where do I sign? Just get me out of this movie.
Daughter: Thanks Daddy! BTW...I lied to you. We're really following U2 all over Europe. Rich Step-Dad got us the tix. I heart Bono! TTYL!!
Suave French Guy in Paris: Bon jour ladies. Je m'appelle "The Bait."
Daughter + Slutty Friend: OMG! He's so cute! LOL! Let's invite him up. ASDF! So, totally, NOT a bad idea in a foreign city we've never been to and don't know anybody in. LMAO!
Suave French Guy in Paris: Merci! (to the Albanian kidnappers) Go get 'em.
Daughter: (on the phone) Daddy! They're going to take me.
Neeson: Listen very carefully sweetie, this next part is difficult. They're going to take you.
Daughter: AAAHHHHHHHH!
Albanian Kidnapper: (breathing heavy into the phone)
Neeson: First of all...stop with the creepy breathing. Second, you should know that I'm a bad ass Jedi knight. My friends call me "White Shaft." I will find you and kill you.
Albanian Kidnapper: You sort of sound like Aslan on the phone. Are you Aslan?
Neeson: I have skills, SKILLS I say! SPECIAL skills I will use for the next 80 minutes to HUNT YOU AND KILL YOU!
Albanian Kidnapper: Chill Aslan. No need to roar. (click)
Neeson spends the rest of the movie picking off the Albanian kidnappers one by one via action sequences filmed like episodes of The A-Team. Eventually he finds his daughter, who was sold to a Dirty Old Sheik in Hugh Hefner PJ's with posture like Jabba the Hut.
Daughter: Thank you for saving me Daddy!
Neeson: You're welcome. Now pack your things. We're moving to Narnia.
THE END
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