Greetings Southeast Texas! We're back from a brief hiatus and ready to blog.
First up is the announcement that, according to CNNMoney.com, some workers will see some extra money on their paychecks thanks to the economic stimulus package.
WOO-HOO!!! Sing it with us folks..."Moneymoneymoney MO-ney, MO-NEY!"
So how much will you get? The above article says eligible singles might get between $10 to $15 per weekly paycheck. Married folks may see an extra $15 to $20.
OK...so it's not necessarily an AIG Executive Bonus Package, but every little bit helps right? There's actually quite a few things you can do with an extra $10 to $20 per week. Need some ideas? Here's a helpful list we put together.
HOW TO SPEND YOUR STIMULUS MONEY
1. Replace one or more clothing items. If you're Courtney Love or Jon Bon Jovi, you can get away with holes in your clothes. But chances are you're neither, so no need to keep people in suspense as to if/when that rip in your thigh will introduce the world to your nether region. Pop buy the mall and do a little shopping.
2. Start buying protein again. Maybe you've been taking a page from The Great Depression Cookbook and have been living off of turnip and onion soup this fiscal year. If so, while we're sure you look fantastic, feel free to splurge on some beef, chicken or fish again.
3. Get Tivo or a DVR. This will change your life and if you already have it you know what we're talking about. Forcing TV to fit into your schedule provides a sense of superiority and control that some might say is "sad" and/or "pathetic," but to us is "wicked cool" and "awesome."
4. Stop ordering off the dollar menu. Unless you're in college, put on your grown-up pants and order the full-sized combo meal. But don't order them too often or else you'll double the size of said grown-up pants.
5. Pay full price for movies again. There's no longer a need to convince the ticket seller that your 16 year-old really is under ten - "That's not five o'clock shadow, he's just an early bloomer!" - or that you're a very young looking senior citizen - "I exercise and take lots of vitamins!" Go ahead and pay full price for the flick.
However...the economy will probably never be strong enough so that you don't have to sneak your own snacks into the theater. $10 will always be too much to pay for salty popcorn and a large cup of ice with a splash of Coke.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Release the Stimuli!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
An open letter to Dolly Parton
Well Hello Dolly!
Right...you've probably heard that one before. Sorry.
We bid you good day from Southeast Texas, home of many of your fans, lots of women who strive to look like you and this guy who might be venturing into restraining order territory.
(We kid, "The Dolly Lover!" His obsession seems perfectly reasonable.)
Anyway, the real reason we're writing to you today is because of an article we read this morning that informed us of the following things:
1. It is widely speculated that you are a lesbian.
2. You have written a children's book.
3. You appeared in an episode of "Hannah Montana."
This is a lot of information to take in over coffee and a muffin and, frankly, we're not quite sure where to begin.
Do we start with the lesbian thing? Can we really call this an actual thing? After all, you have been married for over four decades to the same man and - while we're sure any woman with a penchant for other women could appreciate your...voluminous assets - we seriously doubt you lean that way. We choose to dismiss this as a silly rumor that curiously surfaces whenever you have a new record/movie/theme park opening.
How about this children's book? What sort of theme will be going on there? We can only assume one of the possible title's kicked around was "The Best Little Playground in Texas." Keep us posted on that one. It sounds...promising.
Finally..."Hannah Montana?" Really? According to this eye-opening article, you guest-starred as her Aunt Dolly. This doesn't make us sad so much as confused. Of course, every generation deserves its own bubble-gum pop to distract it from the fact that growing up is hard, but you're not their bubble gum. You're our bubble gum. You're bubble gum for older generations.
Besides...isn't there an Opryland clause somewhere that forbids you from sharing any venue - be it stage or small screen - with Billy Ray Cyrus? Well...we think there should be. And we're pretty sure The Dolly Lover would agree with us.
All the best,
MEvBLOG
P.S. You do know we'll always love you...right? Just checking.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Breakfast Rules
We love us some breakfast here at MEvBLOG. Everyone knows it's the most important meal of the day as it has everything great about all foods in one meal: meats, cheeses, fruits and carbs. (Oh Lordy, those sweet, sweet carbs!)
Also, there's no other meal acceptable to enjoy in pajamas.
When we were kids - and "blogging" was a word adults would have assumed had an inappropriate connotation - we wanted breakfast for every meal. Eventually our mom created a supper hybrid to placate us. She'd simply make breakfast for dinner and call it a "Breakfast-Dinner."
(Our love of literary creativity only snowballed from there.)
Later it was discovered that "Breakfast-Dinner" was her way of creatively stretching the grocery budget. And we were fine with that.
Like all meals, breakfast is okay when eaten, but best when experienced and there are many places in Southeast Texas to have such an experience. (For some great suggestions, CLICK HERE)
However, my favorite recent breakfast-related experience has to come in the form of "The Breakfast Song," in the video below. Watch as Minister Cleo Clariet and his fiancé Katherine Lanesing "The Breakfast Song" on a morning show in Tupelo, Mississippi. Hilarity will ensue and, then, so will the breakfast cravings.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Let's talk about sex
That's right, Southeast Texas...what better way to start off your week than with a discussion about sex education. You're welcome.
As some of you may know, the Texas legislature is now considering a bill that could end abstinence-only sex education programs in public schools.
Right now, state law doesn't mandate that Texas schools teach sex education - some districts require it and some don't. But if they teach it, it has to be abstinence-only. This bill would provide schools with the resources and parameters to educate children with other materials if the district sought fit.
Why is this such a big deal, you ask? Shouldn't kids' parents be teaching them about sex? Why is it the school's responsibility anyway?
Gosh you people are an inquisitive bunch. Consider the following statistics:
Teen pregnancy rate in 2001 - 46 per 1,000 teens
Teen pregnancy rate in 2007 - 62 per 1,000 teens
The bill was sponsored by Democratic Senator Rodney Ellis, and the response from the Texas Republican Party spokesman Hans Klingler - no relation to Corp. Klinger from M*A*S*H* - was that it would "tie the hands of local school trustees" when selecting an appropriate curriculum.
But isn't it already tying the hands of a school to say that IF it teaches something THIS is how it should be taught?
We went to a private, parochial high school and, while abstinence was taught as the primary method of birth control, we were at least informed that other ways existed. We were, however, not allowed to have dancing on campus because whoever made that rule clearly hadn't seen Footloose and just assumed it would lead to The Sex.
The Beaumont Enterprise has already weighed in with what we see as the pro's and con's, but we'd like to hear where you stand.
Friday, March 20, 2009
AIG is good for soccer
So yesterday's post was fun.
It involved a lively and spirited debate in the Comments section, which we enjoyed reading because we're nerds, and nerds enjoy debates both lively and spirited.
As mentioned yesterday, we can see both sides of this thing. We're sure there's lots more to debate on this subject but no matter which side you fall on the clear winner in this case is soccer.
Yes, that's right. The most popular sport in the world that isn't popular in America could benefit from the AIG madness.
Behold, at right, the jersey for Manchester United - one of the UK's premiere football soccer clubs. Obviously, AIG is a mega-sponsor and since the US taxpayers now own 80 percent of it, who knows if the the logo on front will change to the American flag?
That would be a huge coup for soccer, the proponents of which have tried everything to make it succeed in this country except give Americans millions of dollars in bonuses to attend games.
And who knows? If the patriotic new logo doesn't work, that might their be plan B.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Should the Government really tax AIG...even though it should?
Good afternoon Southeast Texas, we come to you in an indecisive state. For what seems like all day, we've been sitting here like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde trying to figure out where we come down on this whole A.I.G. Bonus-gate debacle.
This morning, on our behalf, the U.S. House of Representatives voted 328-93 to tax 90% of the $165 million in taxpayer/bailout-funded bonuses A.I.G. doled out to executives.
You might think that would make it easy to form an opinion, but it didn't. Let's all take a moment to analyze this situation together:
On one hand...that's a lot of bonus money for those who led a company to the brink of bankruptcy and had to approach the U.S. government with their outstretched (perfectly manicured) hands and ask for $182 billion.
(The billion is highlighted because it's a word we're seeing so much of these days, we've actually become desensitized to how big it is. Be honest...does it even phase you when you read it in the news any more? This is a problem.)
On the other...the government neglected to read the fine print of its take-over contract (TARP) that said all pre-existing bonuses would be paid out once A.I.G. execs got their hands on said $182 billion.
BUT...the government now owns 80% of A.I.G., so it should be able to change things in the contract it doesn't like, right?
HOWEVER...a contract is a legally binding agreement, thus it cannot be changed.
Can you see how this is wicked confusing? Because the government now owns most of A.I.G., the House of Representatives is acting like a human resource department and changing office policy because they were too short-sighted to see this coming. (Up next will be the Senate debating the pro's and con's of the new coffee maker in the A.I.G. break room.)
Our brains hurt now. Both of them.
Where do you come down on all of this? Let us know in the Comments section.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
'American Idol' gets 'Lost'
We're not sure about your workplace, but here at MEvBLOG Central we can't stop talking about American Idol - and not just because one of the contestants is from Southeast Texas.
It's amazing how much time will be spent after one person asks a simple question like, "What was UP with 'Pork Chop' Sarver's song choice?" or "Did you see Crazy McRocker-pants try to sing Johnny Cash?" or "Ok, seriously...would The Blind Guy really have gotten this far if he had 20/20 vision?" (Don't judge! You know you thought it too.)
All these questions only lead to more chatting and, before you know it, your boss walks out and says something like, "I didn't realize we scheduled a 90 minute staff meeting to discuss whether or not Simon and Paula do shots of Jose Cuervo and make out in the green room during commercials. GET BACK TO WORK!"
(If your workplace happens to be AIG, the above scenario is the same only, after yelling at you, your boss hands our bonus checks for millions in taxpayer-funded bonuses.)
Suffice to say Idol could be blamed for a slow down in workplace productivity over the next few weeks. But to us, the weirdest thing about the show is how much it resembles THE ISLAND from Lost.
(Sounds like a stretch, yes, but stay with us.)
In Lost a bunch of strangers are looking for the answers to WHY they're stuck on THE ISLAND. (According to my mom it's so they can all run around in sweaty stages of undress for an hour.) And, in a similar respect, they're like the Idol contestants. Only a few - out of an entire planeful - are still around and each has his or her individual motivations.
Throughout their time on THE ISLAND, they have encountered many obstacles, such as polar bears (Randy), time shifting weirdness (Paula), new characters we're not sure we can trust (Kara), and a dark smokey phallus that roars while devouring human flesh (Simon).
There's also a very irritating anti-hero/villain who seems to know everything that's happening, speaks in a weird cadence, and is kind of sexually ambiguous (Ryan Seacrest).
If you watch both shows, you know get it. If you don't watch Lost, wait for the next rainy weekend and rent the DVD's.
If you don't watch American Idol than you've probably noticed you're the only person in your office actually getting things done on Wednesdays. Keep up the good work!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Oh, just kiss me already!
Top o' the mornin' to ya, Southeast Texas! It's the day when everybody's Irish! Too bad it's also a day when everybody has to go to work, or else we'd be out enjoying a nice breakfast with a side of Guinness.
One of our co-workers is 100% Irish and he claims that today is a racist holiday because it reinforces the negative stereotype that Irish people drink too much.
We respectfully disagree and view it more as an opportunity to celebrate through a green colored lens. Yes, as the day progresses, that lens might blur some, but that goes with the whole "celebrating" thing, no matter what your nationality.
Obviously celebrating is more fun on the weekend but, if you're stuck at work, there are still a few ways to fill your day with a bit of the Blarney. Try these:
1. Speak in an Irish accent for at least 15 minutes. Maybe when you go out for lunch, ask the sandwich artist for a "wee bit o' mayo."
2. Pretend you stashed a pot of gold in the office vending machine. Whenever people get a soda, tackle them and wrest it from their hands.
3. When someone you don't know walks by your desk, make friends by yelling "Seriously, I said keep your hands OFF my lucky charms!" Add to the fun factor by combining with #1.
4. Add a "-y" to the end of your first name and and "O'-" to the beginning of your last name. Then demand that people refer to you by your "Irish Name" all day long.
5. Leave work early for religious reasons. Tell your boss, "I have to spend some time with the Holy Trinity." Then hit a pub and have a Jameson, Guinness and Baileys.
No matter what you choose to do (at least try #3) carve out a few minutes to enjoy yourself, raise a glass with a mate, and say "Slainte!"
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Monkeys and Swedes
Sweden can now add another item on an already impressive list of exports that include a bikini team, meatballs, low-priced furniture assembled with Allen wrenches, and people named Christensen.
Scientists at a zoo in Furuvik, a town about 90 miles north of Stockholm - and not a sofabed at IKEA like one might think - have been monitoring Santino the Chimp in the hopes of figuring out how premeditated his actions really are.
For ten years, they've been observing him in his cage and the study's defining moment came last week when Santino hurled rocks at zoo visitors from a stash he'd gathered earlier. Researchers were not only amazed that he created a stash to begin with, but that he also waited until mid-day to hurl the rocks.
While we imagine that the zoo visitors were thankful that Santino threw rocks and not...other stuff...we can't figure out why this study isn't a bigger deal right now. How come more people don't know about the relevance of these findings? How is THIS not front page news?
Can't people see how important it is that monkeys stack rocks BEFORE they throw them at a bunch of Swedes who've kept them caged up for TEN YEARS? It's like rediscovering the polio vaccine and no one cares.
Honestly...sometimes we wonder if the media is just run by a bunch of chimps.
Thanks to MEvBLOG reader "LV" for alerting us to this!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Cramer vs. Stewart (Not Kramer)
Last night was the thrilling conclusion to the week-long exchange of broadcast words between Jon Stewart, host of Comedy Central's The Daily Show, and Jim Cramer of CNBC's Mad Money.
For us at MEvBLOG Central, The Daily Show is one of the only reasons we haven't gone completely TV-on-the-Internet and the past week has shown why.
On March 4, Jon Stewart - who, by the way, has a reputation for being extremely intelligent, very liberal and acerbic - skewered CNBC's Jim Cramer. Stewart suggested that both he and the financial news network contributed to the current economic meltdown and showed clips of Cramer telling people to make moves that - had they listened - would have resulted in them losing the entirety of Junior's college fund.
Over the next few days, Cramer and several other anchors from the NBC family of networks fired back at Stewart, saying he crossed the line between humor and decency.
Stewart - the first to admit he knows of no such line even existing - also fired back and a media battle royale ensued.
THEN, Cramer stepped up to the plate and accepted and invitation to appear on The Daily Show last night. Jon Stewart, having a home field advantage, didn't pull any punches during the interview and called both Cramer and CNBC to task. Cramer was pretty obsequious and agreed with Stewart on a lot.
But, you've got to hand it to Cramer for even agreeing to come on the show. It takes a big man to admit when both he and the ENTIRE network that employs him was wrong.
The interview is both funny and interesting, and all three unedited interview segments - a little over 20 minutes - are below.
What do you think?
Thursday, March 12, 2009
An American Idol comes to The Mont and "Lost" goes nowhere
We are all over the place this week, folks. Not only have allergies been running a muck, one day we were chasing the former Speaker of the House, and an American Idol runner-up the next. So our post today is a but erratic. Bear with us...we're hopped up on Benedryl and coffee.
The David Archuleta Cover Experience
Yesterday, we celebrated the Day After Our 100th Post by guest blogging for our sister site - "Idol Chatter." There we elaborated on our adventures in trying to interview last season's American Idol runner up David Archuleta who was in Beaumont for a show. Our attempt to chat with him failed after his tour manager said he was "way to busy."
According to this YouTube clip of the show, one could assume he was busy because he had to learn to sing "One," by U2; "You Gotta Be," by Des'ree; and "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles.
Dude, we love that you came to our neck of the woods, and you are a wicked talented singer. But, while one cover might be fine since you're just starting out, three is too many.
Before you know it, your tour will be renamed "Karaoke Night, with David Archuleta." And, while that might not be a bad thing because we'd totally slip your DJ a ten-spot to join in on Livin' on a Prayer, it's best if you take this whole grown up singer thing seriously.
Hey, producers of Lost...listen up, OK?
When you shorten your season to something like 14 episodes, you DO NOT get to air reruns. NONE. AT ALL. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME??? BECAUSE CLEARLY WE ARE VERY UPSET AND ENTIRELY "ALL-CAPS"-IPATED OVER THIS!!!
Our giddy arrival home last night was shattered when we discovered ABC airing an "enhanced" version of last week's episode. Basically it was a rerun with factoids popping up here and there like Pop Up Video.
Come on guys! We have been watching this show for FIVE years now and so many questions exist, so no one can be bothered with your reruns. You've got to stick around every week and hook us up because we are LOSING our PATIENCE and for the love of the Dharma Initiative, WHAT is the DEAL with THE ISLAND, ALREADY???
Sigh...now we're spent. Shouting in All-Caps is exhausting.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Dan Band - 100th Post!
For our 100th BLOG POST - cue applause, confetti and clinking glasses of champagne - we thought we'd give you, the readers, a gift. It's the gift of song and it's brought to you by Dan and his band.
Officially, the troupe is called The Dan Band. What kind of music do they play, you ask, curious about this, your gift? A fair question. We'll let Wikipedia speak on their behalf:
"The Dan Band is a band from Los Angeles, California, created by actor/comedian Dan Finnerty. The band is well known for its covers of originally female-performed pop songs, with added obscenities and swearing."
That's right. Dan - pictured in his finest auto mechanic's jump suit - belts out girl-power-songs like Total Eclipse of the Heart and Oops!...I Did it Again with a straight face, all while adding in occasional salty language. Recently he performed Beyonce's Single Ladies dance with his two back up dudes (see video below).
Total Eclipse of the Heart he sang in the movie Old School and his other stuff can be seen in his 2005 TV special directed by McG - director of Charlie's Angels and Terminator: Salvation - and executive produced by...STEVEN SPIELBERG. Seriously. We are not making this up. Dan's got major fans.
The Dan Band is hysterical, therefore he is our gift to you as a thanks for supporting us in our quest to conquer the blogosphere. So, if you're feeling up to a one way trip to Laugh Land today, we encourage you to click below for a few clips, and add their TV special to your Netflix queue.
Warning: Dan is wicked funny, though he does use a few choice words that some might find offensive...like possibly your boss if he/she is standing behind you at work. We suggest using headphones if not in the privacy of your own home.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Lost: One hour. Useful for rest. Call if found
This past weekend, Southeast Texans were cheated out of an hour of sleep by a British man named William Willet.
Willet - whose name conjurers images of an old timer who carries a pocket watch and is related to Benjamin Button - published a pamphlet in July 1907 called "The Waste of Daylight." In it he said that all clocks in London should be advanced in April and "retarded" in September.
That's right...Advanced in April, retarded in September. April = Calculus. September = Short bus.
Anyway, the idea was to maximize the daylight - something they're short of in the UK. People seemed to like it and, since apparently the British CONTROL ALL OF TIME AS WE KNOW IT they decided to share this gift with the world.
It caught on better than afternoon tea and spotted dick - except in Asia and Africa where daylight saving time isn't recognized. Also in countries on the equator. And most of South America. Also Arizona doesn't follow it, and neither does Hawaii. And none of the US territories do either.
Not only does it cause mass sleepiness - primarily just in the first week - but it can also cause mass confusion. Two years ago, an honor student in Pennsylvania was wrongfully accused of calling his high school with a bomb threat. Turns out he was only calling to ask a question about his schedule and the bomb threat came in one hour later.
Sure, in a couple weeks we'll be singing the praises of more sunlight in our days, but for now - in our sleepy state - all we can say about daylight saving time is that it has the potential to turn honor students into terrorists.
*Yawn*
Friday, March 6, 2009
Seriously though...who watches the Watchmen?
Because we took Latin in high school we understand the meaning behind the question, Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? For those of you not fortunate to have studied the language of ancient Rome, this translates to "Who watches the watchmen?"
SIDENOTE: If you really want to impress women start talking about Latin. Dead languages only used by the Vatican that produce kick ass SAT scores are hot.
Anyway, this Watchmen movie is coming out today and its title comes from this famous Latin phrase questioning who checks up on the people in charge of us.
The film is kind of a big deal as it's based on a seminal graphic novel hailed by both actual literature people and the National Enthusiasts for Respected Drawings and Sketches, more commonly known as "N.E.R.D.S."
"N.E.R.D.S." love Watchmen, not because it was the first "graphic" graphic novel - as in way too graphic for your kids to see - but because it was the first illustrated treatise showing a world in which heroes are real people, with deep flaws, just like everyone else.
"N.E.R.D.S." often clamor to embrace the notion of fallen heroes. Many times it's in response to the the ridicule suffered by rival group the Juvenile Over Confident Kinetic Supporters, or "J.O.C.K.S."
As members of the media we like to think we're superior in our abilities to keeps tabs on those in charge - just like we are superior in our vocabulary thanks to a tri-lingual mother who forced us to take Latin. But that's not always the case, and sometimes we - like everyone - rush to support a hero, only to find out later that he or she was a villain.
So readers...we put this question to you: Who is it who should keep tabs on those in power? What group, if any should always be sleeping with one eye open?
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Rush to apologies
OK...so who's been following the recent case of The Democratic Party vs. Rush Limbaugh?
For those of you not familiar with this story, it's not an actual court case - though it feels like it holds a permanent place on the docket of The Court of Every Time I Turn on Cable News.
Apparently Rush Limbaugh - pictured to the right in the most slimming online photo available that makes him look like a mafia villain - said that, as a conservative, he generally wants President Obama's policies to fail.
Republican National Committee Chairman Micheal Steele called Rush "incendiary" and said his words were "ugly." Then he remembered he was the new Black guy at an all-White school and quickly apologized.
THEN, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel went on Face the Nation and pointed out that Steele's apology showed that Rush is the real leader of the Republicans.
THEN, Rush - a thrice divorced, former drug addict who dropped out of college - challenged President Obama to a debate on his radio show.
THEN, Steele said...nothing. But he smiled a lot on all the cable news shows.
THEN, while the White House Chief of Staff, Republican National Committee Chairman and a radio entertainer who looks like a shaved walrus were fighting on the playground, the Dow dropped 400 points and thousands more Americans lost their jobs.
The Verdict? Guilty. Who? Everyone. For what? All of it.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
U2 for four bucks
In these tough economic times it's nice to know that a bazillionaire Irish rock band is out there looking out for the little guy.
Today, U2 releases its eleventh studio album, "No Line on the Horizon." (Be entranced by the reversible cover art to the right.)
And you can download it here on Amazon for only FOUR DOLLARS.
We're big fans of U2. Once we dated a girl who was offered upfront tickets to one of their concerts and she turned them down. Shortly thereafter we broke up. (It's possible other factors were involved. Let's just say that this incident was one of many red flags.)
Our friend LV would disagree with our opinion that they are one of the greatest rock bands ever. She's not a fan of U2, something we're very sensitive to. So sensitive are we that every time she's in the car with us we immediately blast one of their songs and then "struggle to locate the iPod."
However, FOUR DOLLARS is so much of a bargain, that maybe even LV will buy this album. We know we will.
Thanks to MEvBLOG reader "Pants" for alerting us to this!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Seussically speaking, of course...
We spent this weekend missing our penguin friends from Moody Gardens, and trying to remove their "essence" from our jeans. It was a process that involved quite a bit of elbow grease and Febreze.
Our encounter made us think about the whimsical pets children wish they could own before they grow up and realize that, Yes, a cheetah would be wicked cool and, Yes, it would eat your sister and, Yes, you might get her room, but that would still be bad.
Anyway, when we were young we wanted to own The Cat. THE Cat. As in, the one in The Hat.
(Can you imagine that? It beats owning a Bat.)
Dr. Seuss - whose birthday is cleverly honored today by the good folks at Google - taught us many things through the creatures he invented. The Lorax schooled us on environmentalism; Horton showed tolerance for people of all shapes and sizes; and the Grinch discovered the true meaning of Christmas (while wearing no pants!).
But The Cat was the one we wanted because it meant always having something else to blame for your mischief. He was essentially a cartoon scapegoat on which to blame things - long before The Liberal Media or The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy came along.
(The Cat also had no pants. Dr. Seuss must have felt that trousers get in the way of learning important life lessons.)
Our family never got The Cat, which was fine, opting instead for the canine route. There was plenty of mischief to blame on The Dog, but we still wonder what would have happened if The Cat were ours.
Would The Cat have brought us flowers? Would we sit and talk for hours? What if he had special powers...
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