Welcome to Friday ladies and gents. Yes it's only been a four-day week, but for some reason it feels more like a six-day week and we're ready to begin the weekend.
Of course we plan on heading to the movies at some point this weekend - regular readers know that we're cinema buffs here at MEvBLOG Central - and thought we'd give you the skinny on the two biggest ones opening today.
Check them out, or go play outside, or do whatever you want. Really, the weekend is your time and you don't answer to us.
UP - It's about a crotchety old old man who longs for adventure and embarks on a journey with a dim-witted boy and a talking dog. No it's not about Dick Cheney's past eight years. From what we hear, it's supposed to be incredibly uplifting, hysterical and all around fantastic, so we'll probably pay full-price to see it.
Drag Me to Hell - The image on the poster of Allison Lohman being clawed into the depths of the underworld freaks us out big time, and we were planning to skip it entirely. Than, we read more reviews and it seems like it's a throwback to when scary movies were campy and fun, and not the 90 minutes of torture porn that fills screens these days. We might catch it a matinee.
Click here for Southeast Texas tickets and showtimes.
As always, if you head to the movies, let us know if you liked what you saw. Have a great weekend!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Drag me to UP
Thursday, May 28, 2009
In response to Jack Bauer
This morning, in our previous post, we chided the former Veep for being all over the media and going on and on about how safe we aren't. One of our readers - a mister "Jack Bauer" - posted the following comment. We found his question held enough merit to re-post here and reply back.
Jack Bauer said...
First off, I'll say that I don't like it when previous administrations take shots at the current administration. I didn't like it when Clinton, Gore and Carter all to shots at W and I don't care for it when Cheney does it to Obama (even though I agree with him). Its seem to lack class.
As I said, I agree with Cheney. Maybe, somebody can explain how closing Gitmo and stopping "enhanced" interrogation techniques makes us more safe. What is so wrong with "enhanced" interrogation techniques or even torture? It easy to take the high road and be against it but if you had one suspect that had critical information about a immanent attack on building that was going to kill hundreds of Americans. Who in their right mind wouldn't order it? If you still say no and that we need to be above torture, pretend your mom or daughter/son is in that building.
May 28, 2009 1:58 PM
RE: Jack Bauer
We here agree with your first point that whoever is out of office should lock it up while the other guy is in charge.
We also find your question to be valid, but aren't sure how realistic that scenario is. How much "real" intelligence is gained from one man or woman knowing one piece of information that's so vital he or she needs to be immediately tortured to retrieve it?
We're not terrorism experts, but we'd wager that the above situation is not as simple as it seems to be presented in almost every episode of your TV show.
(As a side note, we realize that you are a CTU agent - therefore a Bad Ass Dude - but it's still impossible to cruise through Los Angeles traffic in only 12 minutes. No matter how important the plot point moving you might be, no one can do that.)
We called our brother who happens to be both ex-military and a writer/expert in international security to ask his opinion. The conversation went like this:
MEvBLOG - 'Sup bro...Got a question about torture here.
BRO - Who is this?
MEvBLOG - How realistic are the scenes in 24 where someone has to be tortured or else Los Angeles will get nuked?
BRO - You know I have serious work to be doing right now...
MEvBLOG - Sure, but Jack Bauer just commented on the blog and we have to settle this.
BRO - It's a question of how much "actionable" intelligence you can get. Many think that people will confess to anything when slapped around. The Bush administration claims to have obtained lots of actionable intel through enhance interrogation. But those against torture don't think it's worth it and say the info is questionable.
MEvBLOG - So Jack Bauer is wrong?
BRO - Dude...Jack Bauer is fake.
MEvBLOG - Oooohhhhhh...he's gonna be so mad when he hears that.
BRO - You're adopted. I'm hanging up now.
So there you have it Mr. Bauer. How do we know the intel from torture is worth the act perpetrated to obtain it? How do we know those being interrogated aren't just confessing because they're under duress?
And...can we get your daughter's phone number? She's kinda hot.
The Cheney Game
When you do an image search on The Google for Dick Cheney, 50 percent of the results are pictures of him snarling. One of them has his face superimposed on a machine gun-wielding Terminator, and another shows him barring fangs and with demonic red eyes.
It seems a lot of people on the Internet are not fond of the former Vice-President. And, since that's where we get our pictures please don't e-mail us and say that we only put up pictures of people when they look bad. It's not our fault that Dick Cheney appears to, A) Have an aversion to happiness, B) Want to destroy humankind after receiving a robot makeover from Skynet, and C) Be the opposite of all the literary "good" vampires that teenagers are obsessed with these days.
SIDENOTE: There's, like, half a million books for young adults about vampires in your local bookseller. What's the deal with the kids and the undead?
Anyway...we here at MEvBLOG don't understand why Cheney is out and about these days delivering speeches on safety and torture and Gitmo (Oh my!), and seems to be more accessible now than when he was our VP. Plus, he's also trotted out his daughter - not the one who's openly gay, but the one who's married with five kids - to schill on his behalf on the talk show circuit.
The message from both Original Cheney and Cheney 2.0 - is that President Obama is making American more dangerous by ending practices like "enhanced interrogation" - which Congress actually outlawed in 1994 anyway - and attempting to close the Guantanamo Bay prison.
In a great column, Leonard Pitts writes that other than Gitmo and ending torture - which, again, was already against the law - Obama hasn't really done away with much else. A few policies have been tweaked, but for the most part he's kept everything Bush/Cheney had in place.
Pitt also points out that Cheney's continuous assertion of American being safer because there wasn't another attack on America when Bush was in office is kinda ridiculous. He writes that Pitt's arguement is "a non sequitur dressed up as logic," and points out that after the 1993 World Trade Center bombing Clinton also didn't see another attack while in office. So...why isn't Cheney praising him in the same way?
To us, Cheney's exposure and assertions seem like political posturing that hurts both Republicans and the current administration. He comes across like a bitter old grump and is sidetracking Obama and his team from, you know, ACTUALLY working to make the country safer.
Another theory is that he shot someone in the face again and is trying to exhaust the limelight before anyone finds out. We're on the fence here. What do you think?
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Thundercats, HO!
We interrupt your regularly bland work day to bring you the following Internet Awesomeness. A certain Irish colleague alerted us to the following trailer for a movie version of "Thundercats" starring Brad Pitt, Vin Diesel, and Hugh Jackman.
It might be the raddest thing of all time.
It also couldn't be more fake.
Some computer-y type folks - most likely after playing a little D&D in their basement - spliced together scenes and sound clips from about 30 movies; painted cat-like faces on the actual images of the actors; and created an ass-kicking trailer for a movie that was one of the best 80's cartoons ever.
If you're not familiar with the Thundercats than it's important you understand they're cat-people who wield swords, kick butt, and search for ancient sources of mystic power. Just go with it.
Check out the fake trailer below and then cross your fingers that some real live studio executive did the same and put a real version on the fast track.
UPDATE: Apparently there's also a fake trailer made for "The Green Lantern" - Click here to watch it.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Well played Kris Allen
So it looks like our prediction that Adam Lambert was a shoe-in for the Idol title was wrong. It makes us feel better that a LOT of people agreed with us, but no matter.
Kris is a class act and, as an accidentally wise friend pointed out, performers from the South tend to do well on this show - a lot of the core audience comes from the Heartland.
Ultimately, we at MEvBLOG Central will probably buy Adam's album when it comes out over Kris's but that doesn't mean he didn't deserve to when.
But enough about what we think...what do you have to say?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
American Zzzz and Glee
Last night's American Idol finale was a snoozefest of epic proportions, and not just because it's so clear that Adam Lambart should win.
Yes we know Kris is a nice boy from Arkansas and Adam screams and wears nail polish. But Adam's got pipes and has definitely been the most original throughout the show. We'll grant you that Kris's "Heartless" was seriously off the hook, but we doubt he would have stepped up and taken chances if Adam hadn't been there.
Adam's presence means Kris stepped up so, when you apply the transitive property, Adam = the reason they're both where they are. Ergo, Adam should win.
Either way, there's no need to use math to arrive at the sum of WHAT THE CRAP was that "No Boundaries" song? THAT'S supposed to be the winner's first single? It was awful. Kara Dioguardi co-wrote it with two other people and we haven't decided yet, but we're considering banning them all from music. We do have that kind of power.
Take one part Disney princess ballad, two parts R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" and throw in an unpopular teenage girl's poem about climbing the mountains of life while sailing through the hurricanes of fate and you'll have have an idea of the messy cocktail that is this song. You know both Adam and Kris would be fine not winning just to never sing it again.
Meanwhile, raise your hand if you saw Glee last night? How awesome was that? Seriously, it was one of the best hours of television we've seen in a while - smart, clever AND with a choreographed dance sequence to "Don't Stop Believing." We dare you to watch and not walk away with Journey stuck in your head.
If you missed it, catch it here. It's a whole lot better than snoring through another hour of this year's American Idol.
Friday, May 15, 2009
80's Pop Rocks
Happy Friday Southeast Texas! We apologize for not being around yesterday, but The Google wasn't working and apparently much of The Internets depends on The Google - including this blog - so we couldn't post anything.
Instead, we threw ourselves an 1980's pop dance party at MEvBLOG Central. Why, you ask? Because - according to the whippersnappers currently roaming the mall in neon shoelaces, pegged jeans, and shoulder pads - the 80's are back. God only knows why, but they are.
Then this morning, in a fortuitous moment of surfing The Internets, we found this article on The Yahoo! highlighting several 80's pop stars and where they are now. Since we have a penchant for the "I Love the Where Are the True Hollywood Biographies" on cable, we immediately clicked on it.
The article had some interesting revelations, including the following:
- Rick Springfield, who pined after "Jessie's Girl," also had a hit record...last year. Seriously. Who knows, maybe he'll kick off a comeback tour by opening for Lady GaGa.
- Suzanne Vega doesn't have a current hit - or record deal, for that matter - and is releasing her songs directly on her website. Presumably the only people who download them have already been rendered deaf and driven insane by "Tom's Diner."
- Former "Go-Go" Belinda Carlisle is shilling for Nutri-System and might do a record with Valerie Bertinelli. Maybe they'll make Heaven is a Place on Earth II: Where You Don't Have to Order Your Dinner by Mail and We're Both Still Relevant
- At the age of 65, Toni Basil is neither above proclaiming that "Mickey" is still "so fine," nor would she balk at dressing up as a cheerleader again. How much would you pay to see her in a reality TV road trip series with Paula Abdul?
- One of the members of Bananarama is dating the man who's the answer to the ultimate pop culture trivia question: "Who was that other guy in WHAM! with George Michael?"
Enjoy the article. It'll make you crave an 80's dance party of your own and feel kinda aged at the same time. Have a great weekend!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Irish Joe vs. the Wikipedia
And good day to you all.
It seems that one of our favorite online resources has been tarnished of late. Wikipedia's quirky, all-knowing name has been dragged through the mud by a ruddy Irish lad.
Shane Fitzgerald, a sociology student in Dublin, posted a fake quote on the page of French film composer Maurice Jarre when he recently died. Many blogs and international news outlets ran the quote in obituaries and tributes assuming it to be true.
Because Wikipedia is edited by Internet roaming nerds such as you fine people, it's not 100% accurate. Fitzgerald was trying to see how much journalists would weigh accuracy in this age of MUST HAVE NEWS NOW, and it seems that they weighed it...not at all.
A month passed and the quote wasn't retracted, even though Wikipedia removed it from it's page THREE TIMES, when its own editorial staff found it to be false. As it turns out, in this case, the Internet roaming nerds upheld accuracy more so than the journalists.
Fitzgerald has since come forward with what happened, but that doesn't change the fact that this a reminder to those of us in the media that Wikipedia and other informational websites are great places to start, yet shouldn't be the final word.
Yes, everyone is in a hurry these days, especially journalists seeing as news consumption has risen dramatically, and it's easy to assume something is correct when you're in a hurry. But you know what happens when you assume, right?
You get your ass handed to you by an Irish college student.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Touchdown Jesus wept
This one goes out to all the catholics in the house (Holla for Holy Water, ya'll!).
As many of you may know, the University of Notre Dame asked President Obama to speak at commencement this year, which has caused quite the kerfuffle.
Many catholics oppose this choice primarily because of Obama's liberal stance on abortion - as a Sentor for both Illinois and the United States he voted several times against any legeslation he felt inhibited a woman's right to choose.
However, he's the sixth President to speak at Notre Dame, the others being George W. Bush, George H.W. Bush, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, and John F. Kennedy. So, riddle us this Catholics-who-are-up-in-arms...can you possibly think of any moral issues you might have with these five?
For starters, let's take the first three who were pro (in W.'s case VERY pro) death penalty. It's been a while since we saw Dead Man Walking, but we're pretty sure you oppose that.
Also, Jimmy Carter supported legal abortion his entire political career, and we already know you oppose that.
Also, we don't know if you've heard, but baptised-and-confirmed catholic John F. Kennedy was known to cheat on his wife once or thrice and, again, last time we checked adultery was something the Pope could excommunicate you for.
Clearly abortion is a hot topic, and one on which we have a particular opinion. Generally we keep it to ourselves because, when brought up, it's sure to either kill conversation entirely or incite it with a passion that burns like the fire of a thousand suns. But does the fact that it's so polarizing mean it should be the central issue of whether or not Obama is fit to be a graduation speaker? Is this the topic people think he's planning on covering during his commencement address?
Is this really about Obama's stance on abortion, or is this just a reason for republican Newt Gingrich to go on FOX News last Sunday and launch another visible attack against the sitting Democratic President?
We think politics should be left out of this situation, and private universities should be able to invite a speaker they feel would most benefit the grads. But, since we're nothing if not democratic here at MEvBLOG...we'll let you decide.
Friday, May 8, 2009
An Open Letter for Mother's Day
Dear Mom,
Thirty-three years later, now that you've mothered two boys (one taller and slightly superior to the other), tell us...was the juice worth the squeeze?
Looking back on all the times we've had together - you know...the good, the bad, the happy and the sad - are you glad it all turned out the way it did? Would you do it the same way if you had a second chance?
We hope so, because we think we've had a pretty good life and owe much of it to you.
Let's face it...not many moms would pull their sons out of school in the middle of the day just to get ice cream and go see Peter Pan.
Not every mom would scrimp and save like you so that we could have the special shoes and braces we needed to grow up straight, tall and with proper orthodontia.
Not every mom would simply laugh and shake her head when she found out that one of her sons wrecked her car, lied about it, let insurance foot the bill and kept it a secret for 11 years. (Thanks for being cool about that by the way...and also for suggesting that we never tell Pop until after he's had a few glasses of wine. That was wise.)
And not every mom would be the picture of patience when reminding us that life can be full of never ending joy when you have deeply rooted faith in what matters most. The present is temporary and in the future there will always be one more fun thing, right?
Things haven't always been easy but, like you told us when we were young, "Sometimes you just have to get past the hard things. Then you can go play outside."
If we had to guess, we'd say you're pleased with the way things have gone. We know we're happy with how it's worked out. Happy Mother's Day!
Love,
MEvBLOG (& your son)
P.S. Even though we're grown up now, you're still welcome to come pull us out in the middle of the day for ice cream and a movie. Just saying...
Thursday, May 7, 2009
"Saved by the Bell" - Where are they now?
After several comments, e-mails, inter-office requests and one co-worker on the verge of relating an entire episode of E!'s True Hollywood Story, we decided to extend yesterday's Saved by the Bell - themed post and make it a two-parter.
You're welcome. (Unless your our dad who, if he's reading this, is probably yelling across the house right now asking our mom what this "Saving the Bell" show is all about.)
The rest of the post will be devoted to the original cast and where they are now. What sort of career choices have they made? Did some get serious about their profession and study method acting? Did others spurn the life of Hollywood and pursue public service in politics?
Did any of them spend all their money, have their house foreclosed on, attempt to save it by leaking a sex tape and then star in a reality TV show where they made Marcia Brady cry?
Anything is possible when you have a fake degree from Bayside High School. Here's what the cast of Saved by the Bell has been up to in the past 20 years.
Mark-Paul Gosselaar/"Zack Morris" - After marrying "Kelly Kapowski" in Las Vegas, Gosselaar floundered through a few TV movies and guest spots before landing a grown-up role on NYPD Blue. Now he's on a TNT lawyer show and, presumably, has updated his cell phone plan.
Tiffani Amber Thiessen/"Kelly Kapowski" - Just so you all know, it's nearly impossible to find a picture of Thiessen where she's fully covered. She seems to have adpoted the need to bare her midriff the same time she dropped her middle name and starred as 90210's awesome bad girl "Valerie." Since that, she's jumped from one marginal television show to the next but will always be the girl we wish would have said "Yes" to our repeated date requests instead of threatening a restraining order. That was not cool...
Mario Lopez/"A.C. Slater" - After playing Bayside's favorite alpha-jock-with-a-mullet, he donned spandex and a bicycle for USA's Pacific Blue. After that, he got naked on Nip/Tuck, cheesy as the host of several beauty pageants, and beaten by Emmit Smith on Dancing with the Stars.
Elizabeth Berkley/"Jessie Spano"- Girl went and solidified herself as the queen of "I've got to shed my good girl image" by getting all kinds of naked in the uber-bomb/pioneering-movie-as-drinking-game Showgirls. Where does one go after that? She hosted a low-rated dance show on Bravo and currently has an advice/talk show in development. We hope it's called "Don't Call ME Hot Mama," and will be about pole dancing while on caffeine pills.
Lark Voorhies/"Lisa Turtle" - After guest starring in a couple soap operas, acting alongside both Method AND Red Man in How High, and singing in an alternative rock band, Voorhies decided to release a solo album this later this fall. Compared to Stripper McPole-humper up there Voorhies is kind of a yawner, but refreshingly normal is...well...refreshing, no?
Dustin Diamond/"Screech Powers" - Who would have thought the mild-mannered dorky one would drink all the Crazy Juice? He milked his role as "Screech" through four years of the (lame) SBTB spin-off, then spent all his money and was bombarded by creditors. After trying to market a self-made sex tape he was spotted rummaging around a flea market in Boston, then went on VH-1's Celebrity Fit Club and threw multiple tantrums making both Maureen McCormick ("Marcia Brady") and rapper "DaBrat" cry. Pop singer Tiffany was also featured on that show and, reportedly, just wished she was alone now.
Dennis Haskins/"Mr. Belding" - Ditto the milking his role as everyone's favorite Principal - emphasis on "the last three letters that spell P-A-L!" For a while he grew the most unfortunate of all moustaches, then shaved and embarked on a college tour where he probably spoke about the need for increased safety in high school Driver's Education. He teaches acting at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga and, occasionally, is said to have used his "celebrity" status to pick up women at Hooters. Stay classy Mr. B!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
"Saved by the Bell" turns 20
We're going to take a break from blogging about "serious issues" - you know, like Wolverine and Jessica Simpson - so that we might touch on something frivolous that brought joy to many of our generation.
According to the annals of television history, the 20th anniversary of "Saved by the Bell" is upon us.
We know what you're thinking. We feel really old too.
Remember how Zack Morris would stop time, or talk on a cell phone the size of a brick?
Remember how much of a crush all the guys had on Kelly Kapowski?
Remember Screech's unrequited crush on Lisa Turtle - quite possibly the only black student at Bayside High School?
Remember when they all started a band called the "Zack Attack" which, despite the fact that none of them could play instruments, rocked the house? (And by "the house" of course we mean "The Max.")
Remember the "very special episodes" when the guys got drunk at a toga party than crashed a car, or when Jessie Spano started taking pills because she was over committed at school than crashed into a sobbing, emotional heap shouting, "THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH TIME!!!" She was, of course, "so excited...so excited...so...scared!"
Because this was brilliant television, Jimmy Fallon on "Late Night" created an online petition you can sign if you'd like to see the cast of SBTB reunite on his show. We're proud to admit that we were numbers 26,582 and 26,583.
You know you'd all tune in to this, so sign it and show some love for the most awesomely bad Saturday morning sit-com of all time. Even Mr. Belding would do it.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Tuesday Headlines - Britain, Germany, and Jessica Simpson
According to Yahoo!, the following are the MOST IMPORTANT top stories happening in the world today.
1) Britain Bans 16 People - The British government published a list yesterday of 16 people it's banishing from their lands. The group included suspected Hamas terrorists, a Jewish extremist, anti-gay protesters and a conservative talk show host from California. Meanwhile, heroin/meth/crack user Amy Winehouse still happily lives in London.
2) Germany says 'NINE!' to triple names - A German court ruled that Ms. Thalheim and Mr. Kunz-Hallstein cannot become Mr. & Mrs. Thalheim-Kunz-Hallstein. Apparently, the famously efficient Germans have very strict laws concerning both first and last names. Much looser, however, are the laws concerning when is the time on Sprockets un which we dance.
3) Jessica Simpson still exists - Jessica Simpson is a lovely girl who deserves happiness like everyone else, even though she hasn't had a hit in years (because she isn't a very good singer) and (some might say) is sucking the life out of Tony Romo, thus keeping the Dallas Cowboys from advancing in the playoffs. Even so, Vanity Fair put her on the cover. It was between her and Bernie Madoff. The final decision came down to cleavage...they wanted less and went with J-Simp.
Thanks Yahoo! It's plain to see why these are the MOST IMPORTANT top stories of the day. Readers, you're welcome for bringing you these breaking news updates.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Let there be Summer Movies!
Today is the first of May, and it also happens to be a Friday, and X-Men Origins: Wolverine also happens to be opening today - so all of those things combined means...THE SUMMER MOVIE SEASON IS UPON US!
(Yes...this situation calls for ALL CAPS. MEvBLOG isn't equipped with a Dolby THX sound system.)
So, if you're tired of sub-par-to-marginal cinematic fair now you can enjoy slightly better material, but with more explosions. Because it's not a Summer Movie if the theater walls aren't shaking, are we right??
Here's a list of the big films we can't wait to see:
Star Trek (May 8) - J.J. Abrams - creator of Alias and Lost - updates the classic TV series with lots of pretty new faces. Cross your fingers for a Shatner/Nimoy cameo.
Terminator: Salvation (May 25) - Christian Bale takes over the John Connor role, while yelling and growling his way through a resistance against renegade machines. And that's just his off-camera performance...HEY-OH! Cross your fingers for a Schwarzenegger cameo.
The Hangover (June 5) - Three guys lose a groom after a wild bachelor party in Vegas that none of them can remember. Later, they all grow up to be Democratic Congressmen.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (June 24) - The plot couldn't be less important. Machines shape-shift, large things blow up, and Autobots roll out. If they gave Oscars for kicking ass, this would probably clean up.
Public Enemies (July 1) - Johnny Depp is John Dillinger, wears a fedora, robs banks, and beds a hot woman. Man-crushes of all sorts abound.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (July 15) - The sixth book-to-movie in the popular series should be great. Besides, Warner Bros. owes us one after postponing it from last fall so they could release that Twilight nonsense instead.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Aug. 7) - Yo Joe! Based on the famous toys and cartoon, it's directed by Stephen Sommers who's done some of the worst movies of all time (Van Helsing). Still, since we formerly owned all the G.I. Joe toys, we're buying tickets even if it's a stinker. We just thought you should know that because, after all, knowing is half the battle.
What summer movies are you looking forward to?
CLICK HERE for Southeast Texas tickets and show times.
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