I just want to go on the record as saying I think Roman Polanski is one of the greatest filmmakers who ever lived and he totally belongs in jail. Yes, it's possible to hold the two thoughts in your head at one time. Like, say, acknowledging the merit in both Republican and Democratic notions, or recognizing the value in both Shakespeare's sonnets and "Greek" on ABC Family.
"Chinatown" is one of the greatest movies ever made and its director drugged and raped a seventh grader. The two are allowed to co-exist.
I recently heard someone ask why Polanski should have to answer for his crime when Ted Kennedy bounced back from Chappaquiddick. Instead of slapping that person across the face with an open palm like I wanted, I simply pointed out that Kennedy, while being wrong for what he did, stuck around and answered for it. No one doubts his last name played a role in keeping the book from being thrown at him but still...the man didn't high-tail it to France for 32 years.
Polanski, after having been convicted, split for Europe where he's evaded jail time longer than I've been alive. If he'd stayed, he probably would have served his sentence and been out in no time flat because, let's be honest, he was convicted in Los Angeles where even when you stabbed your wife and another guy you can get out of it.
So yes, the man is both a genius and a criminal. Believing both to be true is allowed. Just like it's OK to think Martin Scorsese is both awesome and kind of a tool for signing a petition demanding that Polanski be freed. Marty...seriously? Unless you only want him free so you can unleash Joe Pesci on him with a baseball bat. In that case, I might be with you.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Polanski: Genius and Criminal
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Over-Inflated Optimism?
Let me set the stage. Today there was a very loud drilling noise in my office building to the point that the walls were shaking a bit.
Co-worker: What is that noise?
Me: I dunno.
Co-worker: Do you think we're okay?
Me: Oh we're fine. I'm not worried.
Co-worker: What would it feel like if the building were about to collapse?
Me: (From my vast expertise on the subject) I'm sure things would be falling over.
Co-worker: Do you think we would die if the building collapsed, I mean we're on the 11th floor. . .
Me: The 11th floor means we'd be close to the top of the rubble. They'd totally find us first.
Gotta love the silver lining!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The book club quest continues
So, you all know about my trials and tribulations of having been invited to, and then dismissed from, the Book Club of Ladyparts because I had none. As it turns out I have a couple other friends who were also search for a book club so we formed our own called The Super Awesome Book Club of Awesome. (I came up with the name.) We're like the literary equivalent of Island of Misfit Toys.
SIDENOTE: If you have any recommendations, feel free to hit up the comments. We're open to anything as long as it doesn't involve teenage/vampire/romance triangles, or authors with the first name "Jodi" and last name "Picoult."
Our first book was "Middlesex," which I'd read before and was happy to re-read because it's amazing and you should all read it. The second book, an older title called "The Far Pavilions," is what we've set our sights on next, except that we can't actually set our sights on it because it's not available. Anywhere. It's out of print.
Hence my quest this morning ended with the Helpful Hippie at Barnes & Noble who peered through her stringy gray hair and over her bedazzled reading glasses, informing me I was out of luck if I wanted to buy this book, but was I interested in their ENTIRE TABLE of teenage/vampire/romance triangles?
After audibly sighing and judging her I browsed through the store totally unencumbered by purpose. It was then I came to the following conclusions:
1) If you work there and your "staff pick" is "People Magazine's Book of Crossword Puzzles" you should be fired.
2) Seeing both Joel Osteen's book and Glenn Beck's right next to each other might make you throw up in the back of your mouth a little.
3) The guy who took the DVD out of the Kaplan test-prep book and split just shoplifted. Someone needs to collar him and say, "Dear Rufus, You belong in jail."
4) Somewhere, some group of dedicated consumers are buying lots of puzzles.
5) At this point, I think teenage/vampire/romance triangles might be outselling The Bible.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Kanye West and Joe Wilson Interupt 2009 VMA Congress Awards
WEST AND WILSON GET MAD & SECRET SERVICE GETS TOUGH AT OBAMA'S 2009 VMA SPEECH
NEW YORK, NY - Last night, during a live event at Radio City Music Hall, while President Obama was addressing both a joint session of Congress and an audience of celebrities with joints, what was to be a simple speech to famous people who blindly agree with whatever he says turned into the final scene from "In the Line of Fire."
Rapper Kanye West and Rep. Joe Wilson stormed the stage and cut Obama off yelling "Beyonce had the best video of the year!" and "You LIE!" respectively. But, no sooner had they grabbed the mike out of the stunned M.C.-in-Chief's hands when several Secret Service agents - and two guys from P. Diddy's entourage - tackled the two men, wrestling them to the ground.
The outburst was shocking to everyone - especially House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (pictured at right), who was exhausted from making a total of 17 costume changes that evening, and had just finished a jaw dropping performance of her two hit singles Poker Face (Botox Works) and Don't Know Much (I Just Like to Bang the Gavel).
During the interruption, the camera cut to Beyonce who was shocked by the rudeness of both men and apologized to the President.
President Obama said, "No worries 'B,' you're still my girl." Than he pointed to the First Lady saying, "See Michelle over there? I liked it, so I went and put a ring on it."
Just to make sure there were no hard feelings, when it was Beyonce's turn to address the lawmakers/celebs, she called 19-year-old country/pop sensation Taylor Swift on stage to let her have a moment in the spotlight. The darling Swift profusely thanked Beyonce, before motioning to the President and speaking directly to her White fan base saying, "Honestly you guys, he's really not that bad."
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Shopping and Guano and Bats, Oh My!
San Antonio is known as a tourist destination and not just for humans. Every year an estimated 100-million Mexican free-tail bats visit Central Texas to raise their young. 1.5 million take up residency on Congress St. Bridge in Austin, which is the largest urban bat colony in the world. 20-million of these bats set up camp in Bracken Cave just 20 miles north of San Antone, making it the largest known bat colony in the world!
Now for all you math whizzes out there, 20 million bats + 1.5 million bats still falls well short of the total 100 million bats who visit Texas. The rest of the bats find favorite haunts in other caves, bridges, and apparently the North Star Mall Parking Garage (Macy's end if you must know).
I stopped by the mall after work one day for an event at Lush (just the most amazing bath products ever) so I was in the parking garage at 6ish. I suddenly realized that the swooping all around me was not birds, but bats. I had a wonderful Batman Begins moment of Zen standing amongst all the bats. Some flew close enough that I felt the whoosh of wings.
Slightly less glamorous is the smell of guano in the parking garage. Guano has a very particular smell and the dog days of summer have ripened this smell to quite the strong olfactory experience.
After my mall-meets-super-hero experience, I googled to find more batty info. I learned that the newest section of the San Antonio Riverwalk, the Museum Reach, actually has a bachelor colony of 8,000 bats. Bat Conservation International has a wealth of really groovy bat factoids. Who wouldn't want to know that our bats consume about 1,000 tons of insects nightly?! However, I found zero mention of the size of the fashionista bat colony at the mall.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Even saturated fat is bigger in Texas
Don't worry, you haven't missed the fair. It's in October. However, there is an annual nationwide contest between state fairs featuring the best "new foods" of the year. Understand that I use the term "food" loosely. Now, the Texas State Fair is the home of the original Corny Dog which premiered in 1942. So we do have a proud history of frying with the best of 'em. The picture is of last year's debut: Fried Coke. Take a dough ball filled with Coke syrup, fry it, top it with powdered sugar and say hello to Diabetes.
Two things before I proceed:
1. Please note the fact that Texas had 6 of the 10 Fattest Cities in the U.S. as of 2008 (Men's Fitness).
2. Now, please take any cholesterol or blood pressure medication.
The three new foods nominated to represent our fair State Fair. . .
Fried Peanut Butter Cup Macaroon – A peanut butter cup is wrapped inside a coconut macaroon fried and dusted with powdered sugar. Also available with a scoop of Blue Bell ice cream.
Texas Fried Pecan Pie – A mini-pecan pie is battered and deep fried to a golden brown. Served drizzled with rich caramel sauce, then topped with whipping cream and chopped candied pecans.
My personal favorite. . .
Deep Fried Butter – 100% pure butter is whipped till light and fluffy, then specially sweetened with a choice of several flavors. The tantalizing mixture is surrounded by a special dough and quick fried. Served on a stick.
What else can I say? On the shiny side, at least Texans should have lustrous hair from all that butter. . . We strive to make Paula Dean happy!
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