Greetings blogosphere! Sorry about the extended hiatus. November (and half of December) just flew right by here at MEvBLOG Central, almost as fast as the golf club Tiger Woods’ wife swung at his head – HEY-OHHH!!!
I still got it.
Anyway…since the year’s end is nigh, my present to you is a list of what I liked most these past 12 months. Sure, it’s kind of a re-gift, but this time ‘round I’ve given a specific name to the fictitious awards being doled out. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the winners of the 2009 Matties!
Obviously it’s an honor just to be nominated for a Matty – let alone win one – and you know the red carpet, pre-ceremonial bash promises to be off the hook!
Admittedly, I’ve been neglectful to you, dear readers – especially those still hanging with me from The Mont and my international crew representing both Peru and Tajikistan – therefore each award will appear in its own post.
Got your own “Best of” for this year? Hit me with it in the Comments. It’s an all-inclusive free-for-all when it comes to year-end reflection here at MEvBLOG Central.
Happy Holidays and you’re welcome.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
The 2009 Matty Awards!
The 2009 Matties: Bullock in 2012
I’m gonna have to give the first Matty to Sandra Bullock for pulling off not one, but two great movies this year. Hold on, film snobs - those of you swearing that “Precious” and “A Single Man” are like cinematic manna sent to feed the starving masses - hear me out. Sandy gave us two very different characters in this year's “The Proposal” and “The Blind Side,” the latter of which is so good that I honestly forgot it was her halfway through the movie.
Sure, both are very formulaic, but so what? Not everything has to be independent and nouveau – I’m looking at you, Tarantino – and mainstream movies have the potential to be just as compelling as those made outside the studio system.
Yes, Bullock also starred in this-failure-that-shall-not-be-named, but she transcended it with aplomb so I bestow upon her this inaugural Matty for Best Movie Star of 2009.
Also, apropos of nothing, I loved everything about "(500) Days of Summer," and so will you if you aren’t made of stone, so go get it when it comes out on DVD. That is all.
The 2009 Matties: Humping the Appalachian Trail
It takes some kind of man to cheat on his wife, but it takes particular brand of asshole to cheat on his wife with a woman in a different hemisphere, while on paid leave from his tax-payer funded job as primary state executive, then not step down from said job.
That’s why the 2009 Matty for Best Extramarital Affair goes to the shameless, scumbag governor of South Carolina who carried on with a woman in Argentina while telling his family and staff he was taking some “alone time” to hike the Appalachian Trail.
Gov. Sanford, with this Matty, I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul…because you wife should not.
The 2009 Matties: OMG! New Moon! Zzz...
Last year I had to report on the release of both the final “Twilight” book and release of the first movie and, from that experience, I bare scars for wounds that may never heal.
This year, I was cajoled into seeing “New Moon” with a friend at the Alamo Drafthouse where, by the grace of God, one can drink. And drink, we did, during what might be one of the slowest movies ever because, seriously people, paint dries with more emotion and verve then this flick.
In honor of not having to write about it - especially while slightly buzzed and surrounded by the ear-piercing squeals of pre-teens - the 2009 Matty for Best Story I Didn't Have to cover goes to "Twilight: New Moon"...and the $200 million it made opening weekend.
SIDENOTE: In 2010 I hope to present a Matty to both Vampires and Werewolves as the Literary Trends That Extinguished Quickest.
The 2009 Matties: Yankees (still) suck
It’s rare that the Yankees appear in MEvBLOG print without being preceded or followed by an expletive of some sort. And for the sake of my brother – a die-hard fan of the blue pin stripes – I’d like to say this post will be different…but it won’t.
Even though they won their 27th World Series – or mostly BECAUSE of it – the Yankees are still the team I dislike the most. Did they play amazing baseball, especially the last half of this season? Yes. Did A-Rod finally come through for them? Yep. Did they deserve to be the world champs? Absolutely.
However, I still want to break a bottle over the head of Jorge Posada in a bar fight and/or punch Derek Jeter in the throat, for reasons that are quite petty – i.e. they don’t play for the Red Sox.
Therefore, the 2009 Matty for Deserving Championship Teams I Still Hate With a Passion that Burns Like the Fire of a Thousand Suns goes to the New York Yankees.
The 2009 Matties: Shout for "Glee"
If you’re not watching “Glee,” you’re missing out on some serious irreverent hilarity. Start making time, because I honestly don’t know anyone who wouldn’t like this show. My militant brother – Yes, the Yankee fan…No he’s not adopted – even chuckled when Sue Sylvester, the Patton-esque cheerleading coach turned to another high school teacher and said, “I’m not like the rest of you hippies caring about the kids' feelings as if they're real…"
Sure the kids break out into spontaneous songs – which, in the interest of full disclosure, are when my brother left the room to get refills of Scotch – but it all works and the music kinda rocks.
Therefore, the 2009 Matty for Awesome Television goes to “Glee.” It comes back in March, so check it out.
Until then, my viewing eyes belong to the final season of "Lost" beginning February 2nd. The word on the street is it's already a contender for the 2010 Matties.
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