If you're like me, deciding which TV shows should remain in your DVR queue is like presiding over a Roman gladiatorial match. I imagine the shows duking it out Russell Crowe-style in the Colosseum of my brain - each vying for it's life, family honor, and my viewing time.
"Modern Family" would swipe its sword at the legs of "How to Make it in America," rendering the latter immobile, then stand over it while waiting for me to signal whether or not I shall allow it to live.
"I'm sorry, 'How to Make it'," I would say, "You're a well-written show with likable characters, but will be easily accessible On Demand should I care to view more of you in the future." Then I'll give it the "thumbs down," hear the bloodthirsty crowd roar at its demise, and have a beautiful woman feed me grapes.
Other shows I feel will get the boot are "Flash Forward" - because I'm too ravaged and ruined by "Lost" in the mysterious-never-know-what's-happening-and-NEVER-GET-ANY-ANSWERS genre; and "V" - because it decided that only four episodes constituted half a season in the Fall and that's just being lazy and pretentious.
Another reason for my DVR Spring Cleaning is to make way for the kick-ass shows about to debut. I know, for a fact, that I'll have to spend at least ten hours of my life on HBO's "The Pacific," and ditto for "Life" on the Discover Channel. Have you seen the trailers for these? Both render me in shivers and on the edge of tears for very different reasons - "The Pacific" due to patriotism, and "Life" because of its breathtaking capacity for rendering everyday natural occurrences awe-inspiring.
Methinks the two will "unleash hell" against other programs, though I hope they don't go so far as to cause an uprising and turn my DVR a Republic. I quite like being the emperor of something.
What about you? Who will survive the battles of your DVR?
Friday, March 12, 2010
Televisius Maximus
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